How much should I Share on first contact?

DigitalLupine​(other male) • Sep 11, 2024

For first contact it should be determining how you want the relationship to go. Individual measurements and more subtle preferences are best delayed. No need getting either of your hopes up or feeling like your obligated to try or use X because they or you bought it you know?

As previously echoed there isn't a consensus and it's all based on personal comfortability, social aspects and more.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Sep 11, 2024

Good morning.

For the most part, pretty solid comments from above. And although I agree there is no common consensus on how much or how little to share on first contact, imagine if we weren't in the digital world and you bumped into someone at the bookstore or coffee shop - how much would you share initially? Probably might get as far as first name in a short chat and maybe even share a common interest. (Hey, we both like our coffee blond and sweet! What type of books do you read? That sort of thing.) As you bump into this person again, intentionally or just incidentally, you share more. Later, when you feel more comfortable, you might swipe open your phone and share pictures of the Renaissance Faire (ok, maybe that's just me but I look damn fine in a kilt).

The point being, don't give out your bank account numbers because some deposed prince wants to give you money and promises to transfer it to you. In the digital age, we tend to share more openly and freely (and by we I do mean everyone else). Many of the younger generation grew up sharing literally everything all the time on social media so when they meet someone new, they figure sending pictures should be safe or telling their life story to a total stranger is safe and they are caught up in the moment and the excitement and the next thing you know . . . nudes are out there.

I'd recommend caution on how much you share initially on first contact. I'd say share enough to feel whether you and the new individual are compatible enough to carry on a conversation and be friends and then go from there. Don't rush it.

Wishing you all the best.
LL

chattel​(sub female) • Sep 11, 2024

Share only what you feel comfortable with sharing. If a Dom pressures you into sharing more than you comfortable with, that's a red flag for me