Is it still a form of masochism?

Bunnie • Feb 22, 2021

@ latex,

That’s been my initial thoughts also. “Any attention is good attention.”
I have however, also pondered that it could be “any form of being pleasing, is still being pleasing.” (“If He wants to punish me, I will love it, because if it’s by His hand, it’s by His will” type thing). Which is where it branches away from the concept of being about masochism for me, and again, more about connection. I agree that removal of attention would likely be more effective.

BadanimalMaster​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

Ha. I've never known you to be a hermit bun. You're like the energizer bunnie in the room lol. But hey, I learn new things every day!

Bunnie • Feb 22, 2021

Lol! I keep the doors to my “house” locked. Chat is me hanging out the “window.”

BadanimalMaster​(dom male) • Feb 22, 2021

I would enjoy explaining more when you're around, about what my sub thought about her paddling.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Feb 23, 2021

BadAnimalMasterforf​(dom male)
16 hours ago • 02/22/2021 3:13 pm
"SubtleHush, very poor assessment to assume that I was "played" because you lack the context of all the other things that were going on in our relationship."

Well, we work with what you give us Bad, and what you presented painted a picture I've seen play out many times.
But hey, it worked for you, right?

Virginie​(sub female){lcpw} • Feb 23, 2021

It’s just a tiny thing but I’ve been noticing that ‘punishment’ and ‘discipline’ have been used interchangeably. Imo they are not necessarily the same thing. I’d go so far as to say they are wildly different, and should feel so.
Bunnie I think I see your initial topic, so this is more for a few of the people who responded I suppose, but even if you win the ‘World’s Biggest Masochist’ award at your local fair this year- if there is overlap between a punishment activity and a masochistic play activity maybe it’s not about being more creative. For me it’s that earning that punishment gives me dreadful feelings of having disappointed my D, and please stop right there for a moment- whatever comes after that whether it’s an demonstration how disappointed they are and/or a ‘corrective’ behavior- it will feel nothing like play because of context.
If it doesn’t upset a person that they’re in that place enough to be most of the punishment right there.. hands thrown up in the air. I would tend to think something deeper is going on.
Whether we are ‘equals’ in a relationship or not- depending on what we negotiated with our partner(s) generally speaking- as s’s we have elected our D’s the lawmakers and the Judges. I don’t know it’s about equality as much as owning one’s role in the relationship. I would also think that whether it’s a case of ‘no punishment does the trick’ or ‘not agreeing with the way the punishments are doled out( or their content) the deeper issue is one of communication and respect.

K y i v • Feb 23, 2021

I agree with T.. It is brat behavior. The attraction escapes me!

Bunnie • Feb 23, 2021

@ Virginie,

“For me it’s that earning that punishment gives me dreadful feelings of having disappointed my D”

Exactly. And how can any form of punishment possibly match that?
What could possibly match that? And would anything be better than that feeling you carry towards yourself (internally punishing yourself)?

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Feb 24, 2021

i couldn’t agree more with the above and the strangely blurred lines between funishment and punishment and discipline. disappointing my D to a level that a punishment would be required, feels like a consent violation to me.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Feb 24, 2021

I read her better, but then again I am observant to a fault. Bunny is one of those "Struggle with shy/fear" types. Though they have been making progress and explore more of the unknown which makes them more open minded. Happier as well, because they don't let fear hold them back with doing more. They can explore the unknown when others would fear it. Technically, she may fear it. But she can CONFRONT it (more then others). That's the crucial detail.

Compare that to someone living with their fear as they're curled up in a corner because they don't consider context of how things are done when they over generalise. This fuels assumptions and irrational fear. Which in turn can lead to mental instability and destructive (even suicidal) tendencies. This also fuels a strong desire for guidance (and thus, people in this area are more likely to be subs).

People that can't confront their pain and fear are actually in MORE pain and fear. This isn't just pain anymore. It's despair. Pain is one thing. But fuck depression.