Advice Needed

Defender​(dom male) • Jan 29, 2023

Wow.😱
Sooo wide of the mark - and deliberately misunderstanding everything I've said - that I have to wonder who has the problem here?
(Just a hint: shouting in "upper case" doesn't makes your point of view more "right". It just comes across as someone who really can't stand being disagreed with, and so resorts to bullying the opposition).
(And nope, I've never been cheated on. Nor do I "advocate " it).
I simply refuse to adopt a finger-wagging, pseudo-moral "you cannot do this under any circumstances, just because I say so" approach. Ugh.🤮
Do you understand?
(No, probably not. Sigh.....)

So, to the OP and any others who may be - or one day find themselves - in this situation I will finish with this:
Do not be told you "can't" do this, or "can't" do that, especially from people who have no god-given right to be judgemental about the choices you make.
Read all the advice - even mine - and go forward in a way that suits you, your relationship, and your situation.
I really do wish you the best of luck - whatever you decide.

I have (mostly!) enjoyed this debate.😜
Have been "flamed" by some, "loved "by others.
All it proves is that everybody is different.

Please have the last word I'mME, if it makes you feel better.😝

🥳

Horror Business​(dom male) • Jan 29, 2023

Tell me you haven't read the replies to your posts without telling me you haven't read the replies to your post...

Strawman: check
Condescension: check
Extreme projection: check

I'mME • Feb 10, 2023

Your entire response is a perfect example of what my answer is to you. The actual finger wagging person between you and I.
You started this entire thing. I was not the first person who expressed their opinion. However since you seemed to be hell bent on singling me out (I have broad shoulders, heap it on) with your manipulation of the factsI am happy to respond to you. It has nothing to do with having the last word but more to do with standing up for myself when you once again twist everything to fit what it is that you wrote and continue to write.

Who is it again that can't stand for someone to disagree? I believe you were looking in the mirror. You manipulate what happened, ad lib, you change the narrative of what other people write. I'm am puzzled by this, the words people write are in front of you. I do not have any hidden meaning before I respond, give my opinion, or whatever it is I am doing, and there is no hidden message after my words.
I grew up around very diverse people, people disagreed with me all the time and still do. What they didn't engage in and still don't is rearranging what people say or write. What you think I should run and sit in the corner and let you 'fix' what I write? Is that what you want?
You should stick with commenting on what you read. You always have something personal to say about me, yet you haven't been right about one thing, not once.
So now here we are , you told someone to go cheat on their partner if they couldn't get what they needed from them. Where did I confuse what you told the OP? Several people disagreed including me . You got miffed, at least I didn't change your words so that what you wrote became entirely something else, like you suggest in your response to me.
I do not wag a finger, I believe you are looking in the mirror again. Listen, I don't care that you don't like me. But every time that you rewrite , make up, ad lib to something I wrote, I will be there each and every time to stop you or answer your manipulation of what I write.

By the way, since you are concerned about finger wagging that you engaged in, yes I did put things in all caps.
Somewhere a person said all caps on the net are yelling. Since I am on a phone and don't have an easy way to italicize or make something stand out but caps I will continue to do it. Yet again you made up in your head what you didn't know about me and once again you are wrong.
Laugh, joke it up idc about me. The one thing you should remember and take seriously us that I will not let you out words into my mouth, I will not let you change my words around so that they mean something else, and I will not let you wrote half truths about me.

I learned in 3rd grade to take up for myself, valuable lessons.
Don't start any crap, but if it's gets started, make sure you finish it.

Good words to live by.

BigMikeseventyseven​(dom male) • Feb 10, 2023

I agree with y'll
I do have a few suggestion tho. Take it slow. An IF to slow for you I do have these suggestions:
1) be waiting at the door when he gets home ( if your home first.
2) have his favorite drink ready by his favorite spot he sits in the living room with his favorite show on if possible &
Take his shoes off massage his feet an ask if those three things make them happy.
I suggest giving him a title as Sir Master or anything at first. Call him by his name or his nickname u mainly call him

Defender​(dom male) • Feb 11, 2023

I wasn't going to post again on this thread.

But having received a message of thanks this evening, from a sub who has been going through some of the things I have been trying to explain to certain narrow-minds on here, I will say that despite some of the unpleasantness I have received for defending a submissive's right to choose.....

It has been worth it.

Real people.
Real lives.

(I have no intention whatsoever of responding to rambling, ranting posts.🤐)

Horror Business​(dom male) • Feb 12, 2023

"submissive's right to choose"... What, exactly? Cheating with an available dom who goes by Defender, no doubt.


Grab a book beyond philosophy 101 and learn how to argue with what people are actually saying vs your dumbass strawman bullshit, you dumbfuck.

I'mME • Feb 12, 2023

Defender,

You will need to point our where I was rambling (bc my post mirrored and answered your BS that you wrote, so be careful or you could actually be calling yourself a ranter)

So what part of what I wrote is rambling ?

I know I want ranting. Such a piggish word and not the first time you have used in relation to something I wrote.

Since you are THE ONE ALL KNOWING .
You should have no problem pointing out the passages where I did what you accused me of.

Don't be rewriting history especially what I write. Others may let you and a couple others here that do the same thing , I am not one of them. Wrote that down in your journal.

I do not let others manipulate my words, I don't not let others change my narrative.

Anytime you want to DISCUSS something , great. You better start getting a good night's rest and eating a good fortified breakfast every morning if you want to up with me.

You don't intimidate me, but I don't think that's your angle. You prefer to write posts that are lies.
.and anyone that's supports Defender when he writes lies about me. Or what I wote y'all are just as stinky as he is.

Reread that and if you think that I'm stupid or somehow missing the boat, you might want to take another look.

Sculpther​(dom male) • Feb 12, 2023

It has been my experience that people who are either submissive or dominant, are that way because of certain traits in their personality.

Some people are natural born leaders, because it seems to be in their DNA and others are devoted followers.

I have met submissives whom I knew were submissive in nature but they had no idea. In fact one, who was doing some editing on my writing had asked me about submission and a subsequent discussion led my to begin to point out to her which of her behaviors would be considered submissive.

She later, after discovering that she enjoyed submission as a lifestyle, came to me and asked to be my slave. Her subsequent adventures were nothing less than sensational as she explored the lifestyle and stuck her toes in the "swinging" lifestyle in addition to her submission.

My experience has also shown me that, while an individual can act Dominant and forceful for a period of time, for them to maintain that posture for very long will become tiring and they will soon return to what feels comfortable for them.

I have seen people try to effect a personality make over but if it is not part of their make up, it will not last long.

Human sexuality is indeed a mystery for many but, the heart does want what it wants and you will find that to be true in every desire. The heart is not easily disuayed from a true desire, at least not permanently.

The Dom that mentioned the amount of time it will take for you to get a change going in the direction you want it was completely correct and you may find a lack of patience on your part if you try to pursue this line of growth.

I'mME • Feb 12, 2023

Appreciate you redirecting the thread from the cess pit back to OP.

submeg​(masochist female) • Feb 12, 2023

I think it is very hard to change a person. It isn't that they don't want to, but usually it is that he or she isn't wired that way. Sometimes after much discussion it may be that it is decided that the relationship cannot withstand the needs of one and it must end. Yes, it will be painful, but not as painful as trying to live as someone you are not.