Need advice on whether wife’s new Dom is shady.

Brooklyn Not Looking • Mar 12, 2023

Brooklyn born and raised here. I would recommend Lawyers for Children. Located in China Town of NYC.

Truly mean no offense but I'm only concerned about your daughter and this non profit supports and advocates for CHILDREN, not adults. They will provide support thru socio emotional but also when parents are going thru the family courts. They may be able to direct you to some non-profits to continue to get you support. They take cases for free. Also their are Dad Coalitions non profit located in NY but throughout the East. Reach out to fathers who went or going thru and get that support. It's alot of work, but being a parent always is.

Best of luck. And specifically search for a ruthless lawyer..the stigma is deep that only mothers stay with children. You need a lawyer that is willing to stomp everyone out their path because it's the right thing to do, in order to support your daughter.

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Mar 13, 2023

Focus on your daughter; she is young and all this churn will impact her a lot. When the dust settles then figure out what you want; it sounds like your wife has already so let her do her thing and let her go

Williamd • Mar 14, 2023

Your first priority has to be your daughter. You answered your own question. Will your wife's activities have a negative effect on your child? Is your home a healthy environment? Kink is fine, but announcing changes with your significant other without a previous conversation about her wishes is disrespectful and should be confronted on that basis if you want to save or agreeably modify your relationship.
Your wife seems in crisis to me. She is playing this out to avoid something. She seeks someone else to make her decisions and direct her, but why? Does she hate you for some reason?
Of course I have no idea. Just brainstorming.
Will counseling help if she is willing to try and save your relationship? Or is she done and you have to accept the pain and move on? That is an important question.
Again, your daughter is your priority and that has to be your focus and that will give you direction.
Good luck and Breathe!

Purĕ​(sub female) • Mar 14, 2023

I probably won't make any friends with this post, but,... am i really the only one who finds this whole post a little bit,...( how can I say that friendly ?) weird ?

If this would be my situation, my first thought wouldn't be "let's create an account in a bdsm community, lay my life in super detailed view out in the open and let strangers tell me if the "new Dom" is shady".

Sorry not sorry.

all those Informations and details about their "Bond" should be enough, topped with her cheating and betraying You, to go straight to a lawyer.

Why even trying to figure out if he's shady or not? She apparently made her decision, and apparently that decision is against You....

but yeah, just my 2cents....

And in case everyone is gonna throw stones at me now, for speaking my mind -> feel free, but keep in mind, I'm masochistic, I might like the pain.

Solace​(dom male) • Mar 14, 2023

Pure, There's an element of truth to what you say. However that doesn't mean the doubts are worth saying.

Its perfectly feasible that an individual outside the community in a wave of despair and disorientation as their life is ruined has thought to turn to a community for more information about the reason. On the other hand, we might have our doubts of credibility, or our doubts that this isn't what we ourselves might do.

The thing is, our doubt does not balance the risk that the person is actually experiencing this. In the United States, between men and women, men have the lion share of suicides. The majority of these suicides occur right after a divorce and after the man has lost custody of the children he and his wife have raised for years. Its a very sensitive time.

It's not my goal to "throw stones at you", as you say...but I respectfully request you and others harboring doubts or negative feedback find another outlet for your thoughts. Compassion might literally save a life here.

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Mar 15, 2023

She has severe ADHD and, self esteem issues, a traumatic home history growing up, and lots of physical issues?

Big...fucking... deal....
She is a dead beat mom

Your first priority was getting fight dirty if they must lawyer and getting full custody.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Mar 17, 2023

As someone who has PTSD, ADD, self-esteem issues (that are improving), and physical issues....

I concur.

cherilynn​(sub female) • Mar 23, 2023

To the OP,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this!
I wish the best for you and especially your daughter!