Proof?!

I can’t figure out how someone calling themselves a d type would offer giving tasks to some girl in the first day of talking… That too takes communication, time, and effort. Wouldn’t you agree? Or are you still offering tasks to young girls and the newbies??

Different strokes for different folks… technically, assigning a task is an exchange of communication methinks. ???

Is it ALWAYS wrong to assign a task to someone after a brief interlude? I don’t think so, the golden rule is consent. It can be safe, sane, and consensual to move fast… just not quite my style.

The original context was Doms demanding proof of submission… offering a task kind of has a different vibe… extending the option of an experience vs manipulating someone into performing a trick to earn their identity.

Am I wrong?

My rule of thumb (which is a whole other subject) is to establish a connection before any type of instructions is given That may be days or weeks or even months. As you say, consent is always a must. But that never happens til a connection is made.

The tasks assigned were to people who didn’t ask for them. 1 was a sexual task to show their submission. It was to send naked photos of all the submissive poses. No agreement was made. So, in those cases it was wrong.

Yes, that was the original post. I just called out someone for calling the kettle black. The 2 subs that sent me screenshots were upset.

Are you going police me about what I can and can’t say? There is more to things than what you see written here… If you want to know more please private message me. I’ve learned my lesson not to rip someone apart in the public arena here. I made that mistake with my trauma of last year.

Minx can tell me straight up if she doesn’t like it. I’ll respect her for it. I’ll just hit her up and see…

Youre all good twinkle. More people should be honest imo. I figured your post related to my initial topic. And if it didn't, that's cool too. Im not one of those that freak out and cry if their thread evolves.

I actually think Doms shouldn't assign tasks without consent too or being in a dynamic and yet its like a daily thing for some to do this. There's a whole crowd of doms who just want "friendship" but to get their rocks off controlling and barking orders at subs. And sometimes it's hard for subs to say no. The conflict, shyness, nervousness, lack of knowledge, intimidation, wanting to fit into the community etc can all influence it.

Hope everyone's having a great summer day!

I think the original post direction is good. It addresses a seemingly universal problem faced by subs with random doms. I’ve certainly had my share of unsolicited tasks and endured the suggestion that I’m not a real sub if I don’t do whatever some dude wants. I suspect most subs have had that experience a time or two. And it is not limited to new or young subs.

I also think it is an interesting question to consider whether or not it is always inappropriate to assign a task to someone after communicating a brief time. The complexity and diversity of needs comes into play. Plus, I find individual views of ethics in the lifestyle to be really telling.

The interesting thing for me is how both of these things can apply in broad strokes and generate a discussion on ethics, boundaries, and consent.

Applying it to an individual or a couple of instances wasn’t as interesting to me, so I didn’t really address that.

It kinda seems like there might be a desire to rip someone up in the public arena and like maybe I stepped into that. Oops. Don’t worry, policing you isn’t really my thing. ??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️ I’m not even adversarial by nature. Hope that clears up where I’m coming from. ??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️

It kinda seems like there might be a desire to rip someone up in the public arena and like maybe I stepped into that. Oops. Don’t worry, policing you isn’t really my thing. ??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️ I’m not even adversarial by nature. Hope that clears up where I’m coming from. ??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️[/quote]

Oh I get it, the feeling I was attacking someone. The thing with me is that I won’t publicly call someone out unless I myself have had experiences with that person specifically to what is being said in the forum and others I know have too. I’m about the safety of the community. Now I have handled it incorrectly a few times. Working on that.

I felt that all that was seen in my comment was the tip of the tip. I wonder why my comment was adversely attacked. Also, why after I asked for this discussion to be done in email it was further dragged in public. It feels like the beginnings of that public lynching of that guy recently…. Don’t get me wrong I don’t respect him. How we handle conflict does speak to whom we are as people.

Feel free to message me anytime that you feel I’m being inappropriate. I am open to constructive criticism and accountability. I thrive on it. It’s why I am an operating room nurse. It’s the only way to be in that environment and attracts certain personalities.

Currently though our community doesn’t need this immature BS today of all days.

May your night be a good one.

Bella

I apologize to the community for using the word lynching. It was belligerent and not mindful.

Its all good things happen but we will share some candy with you. We share are sides of the dark side ya.

Hmm As always (I never know who is seeing a post of mine for the first time so I oft repeat qualifiers and exceptions) Totally not an issue for me -- d-types in general, let alone those with bad manners and primitive concepts.

However, "if it were ever a thing" the only "task" or "instruction" I'd cheerfully comply with from one of those dudes would be to let the guy watch me walk away and not look back.

In other words while it is not "always" bad to assign tasks and shit when first meeting, but it ought never be to "prove" anything and it is similar bad form to issue orders or "strong suggestions" without asking said sub if that was something she'd be interested in doing.

If "Sub" says "No, let's get to know one another for a bit first." then it's "Game Over;". "Next Subject Please" as far as that cave man crap is concerned.