I don't know what to do and need a bit of advice

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit that your gut is trying to tell you something you don't want to hear.

In a BDSM relationship, it's easy to explain away red flags because you want to trust the person you're giving control to. You tell yourself they're busy, they're stressed, you misunderstood, maybe you're being too sensitive. You keep giving chances because you don't want to be the person who walks away too quickly.

But there is a difference between trusting someone and ignoring what their behavior is showing you.

Your gut doesn't always give you a complete explanation. Sometimes it just gives you that uncomfortable feeling that something isn't right. Pay attention to that. Look at patterns, not isolated moments. Look at whether their actions consistently match their words. Look at how you feel after interactions with them—not just how badly you want things to work.

Being submissive doesn't mean you have to override your own instincts to prove your loyalty.

A Dominant who is worthy of your submission should never need you to ignore obvious red flags in order to trust them. Your safety, emotional wellbeing, and ability to speak up should matter to them.

You can love someone and still recognize that something isn't healthy. You can trust someone and still question their behavior. And you can submit to someone without surrendering your ability to protect yourself.

Sometimes your gut isn't trying to ruin something beautiful.

Sometimes it's trying to keep you from losing yourself trying to make something work.

You know he is not safe that is probably why you feel such a strong pull cause some part of you still crave that danger but i think you posted here cause you réalise it's real danger and it risk traumatising you even more
Maybe you wonder if this type of pull is possible with regular people YES does that mean they are less dangerous not specifically but at least you are not asked to give them total control before they show their identity to you