Looks

Bunnie • Apr 22, 2019

Oh, that was me talking about the quote about looking after themselves @ MasterBear. It wasn’t in relation to looks. For myself, because I tend to be attracted to older men, I’m no spring chicken anymore myself, so when I say it’s important to me that someone looks after themselves, I mean health wise. At least putting in the effort to be healthy enough to give us (statistically) more time together than an unhealthy lifestyle would likely give us, is what I hope for.

Having said that, my views have shifted so much since I last wrote that. Sometimes there are people who just make you break all your own rules lol.

^

KillerAddiction​(switch female) • Apr 25, 2019

Looks aren't a huge issue, for me it's their attitude.
For example; my partner tries to be dominant for me [which I appreciate] but I personally don't believe he has the right attitude for it. I /know/ he's submissive and prefers to be submissive and therefore I can't see him as a dom.

Re Looks

BabyGirlFL​(sub female){His} • Apr 27, 2019

Hi! Not being superficial here, but to give you a point of reference I am a former model and still attractive. My dom is highly handsome through and through although a camera wouldn’t agree. He is older now and has been through a lot so he is not physically who he was before I knew him. But his confidence and leadership and protection and absolute goodness are what attract me to him. His eyes, YES I could look into them all day. His body and parts are beautiful! But the way he touches me, moves me to where he wants me, orders me around, tells me what a good girl I am, makes me feel protected and cherished- that is what makes him the king of all species.

Beauty and the Mind

Ilmare​(sub female){Not Lookin} • Apr 27, 2019

"Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them." ~ David Hume

What is beautiful to me is mine to behold. Whatever attracts me to my dom would be celebrated by me. I would hope it would be reciprocated. What really attracts me to a partner is his mind and playfulness. Intelligence is intoxicating. If I find them physically appealing, that just adds to the package. In an effort to be completely transparent, I would want to find them physically appealing, as well. Just as I would want them to find me physically appealing.

- ill ?

Daedalus​(sub male){Uncollared} • Oct 16, 2019

Physical attraction is important to me, but it is far from the most important aspects of a person. Their mind and personality, their heart and disposition are much more important.

ShyDawn​(sub female){Taken} • Oct 17, 2019

Looks are part of it. Looks is usually the first thing that attracts you to a person. I have to be attracted to how they look but their personality is a huge thing. I might like their looks but if they have a bad personality it's a no then.

Srbearcat • Oct 17, 2019

Interesting thread. It is equally both to me. I do have some certain things i like but connection is very important.

Sky dancer 51 • Oct 19, 2019

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” (Margaret Wolfe Hungerford)

Yes I think looks do matter to a certain point as there must be some attraction to a person to go any further then the first hello, but more important for me is the other persons character/personality. A good character/personality makes a person more beautiful to me, then good looks do.
There must be a connection between me and the person I would go in to a relationship with. And to even think about jumping in to a relationship again, that will take time for me and would involve a lot of talking to him to see if that there is a connection.

sexycurves​(sub female) • Oct 20, 2019

looks and physical attraction are a factor i have to admit. also compatible personalities are important. but firstly looks are a factor and then the connection will follow or not.

i'm not ashamed to be honest and if that makes me shallow, then so be it. he might not be good looking to you but if he is for me then my interest is piqued.

Pirate Queen • Oct 21, 2019

Yes, but it doesn't have to be 'conventionally' attractive to me. They don't have to be handsome/pretty but do contain some element that I find attractive. For men, I like features like strong jaw lines or blunt features because I find them masculine and appealing. While for women, I like big eyes (blame Disney on that) and soft features because for me that's more feminine.

It's also true that the more you get to know someone and like them, they become more attractive to you. But, I think there has to be something there from the start.

There is a funny quote from 'Seinfeld':
Elaine: So, if only 5-10% of the population is attractive, how are all these people getting together?
Jerry: Alcohol.