Private parts in profiles

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Oct 9, 2020

When you say 90% of the "victims" are females, how to you define victims? Are those rape, physical assault, or do you include those who reported harassment? Because I am seeing a frustrating phenomenum, if not downright double standard, mostly in the workplace.

Throughout my career I have always worked, and still do, in male dominated fields (oil and gas, construction, IT, military) and have projects in some countries with the lowest gender equality ratings. But back in the US, I have seen time and again, female colleagues who described themselves as "alpha", "independent", "assertive", etc. acting like the victims. One incident was allegedly a male colleague put his arm around her shoulder, and she filed sexual harassment charges. This happened in the office during normal work hours, with a lot of people in cubes around her. I asked if she tried simply telling him, "Get you bloody arm off my shoulder", and she said no. The other incident was when we were working in a disaster area, for a while the only sleeping accommodation was a bunch of cots in a school gymnasium and some of the female colleagues were upset because one guy liked to walk from the shower to his cot with no underwear/pants on. I took care of it by staring at him, pointed my finger at his penis and said, "What are you trying to show me? I am sorry, I don't have my electron-scanning microscope and can't see a thing".

I will never, ever, blame rape victims for their action. A lot of harassment case, however, can be nipped at the bud if assertive independent women would act assertive and independent and stop hesitating from putting a knee in some deserving groin.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Oct 9, 2020

ElizaEmma... I'm referring to rape victims,where it was proven. Of course people will not be honest and lie about it. And most often, to black mail or retaliate against someone or gain something from it. But I'm referring to rape victims where it was proven. I'm really appalled at how much this is overlooked. Just because some lie, as do they about many things (and of course this is f***ed up....). If you lie about something like that, you can put people's lives at risk. But I'm not referring to those people. This actually happens to people, a lot. And more often than not, by people they know.

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Oct 9, 2020

1 in 10 rape victims, Btw are male in the U.S.

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Oct 9, 2020

Got it, not arguing, and yes, you are right, I have come across the statistics that a lot of rapes in the US are committed by "friends and family".

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Oct 9, 2020

It's pretty sad. Of course, very sad that someone would make something like this up to play victim or to retaliate against someone as well. But if people are wondering why Many women feel the way the do, and why they act accordingly, they must take a look at this. It happens to men as well... But much less, so maybe this is a reason why the "double standard." Personally, I wouldn't refer to it as that... Rather that this is the way the world is today and people being traumatized as a result. Personally, if I don't want to look at a picture... I don't.. People don't have to view nude pictures on profiles. There's an option NOT to. So I don't really see the problem at all unless people are sending photos without permission from the other. This is a kink community.

MrFulmen • Oct 9, 2020

A detail to point out: I didn't originally write that most victims of sexual violence are women. I wrote that the overwhelming majority of the perpetrators are cis men.

Notice how the conversation *immediately* swung to analyzing women's responsibility to prevent sexual violence... whether women are making false reports... whether women are too whiny and victimy.

But regardless of who the victims are, the overwhelming majority the perpetrators of sexual violence are cis men. And it's a really interesting, weird (and also sad) cultural reflex that people refuse to focus on that. The conversation almost always flips to judging women's behavior.

Understand why that happens, and you'll understand why cock shots get booed. They're manifestations of the same underlying forces.

ElizaEmma​(sub female){NotLooking} • Oct 9, 2020

And some man immediately jumps to judging my asking for clarification whether "victim" means rape and physical assault vs. harassment.

Because making a mountain out of molehill and false reporting create distraction and noise and actually HURT the case of real victims.

MrFulmen • Oct 9, 2020

I'm not judging you; I'm pointing out a pattern so deeply embedded in our culture that almost everyone does it without realizing it. In this instance, you weren't even the one who changed the subject.

There's an illuminating experiment you can do, if you ever want to. Try having a conversation about sexual violence without talking about women at all. See how that feels, and what comes out of it, and how comfortable or uncomfortable it is to actually focus on sexual violence as a problem with men rather than as a problem for women.

Not wanting to derail the thread. But again: *this is why so many people don't want to see pictures of your wiener!*

Devotedsub​(sub female){His} • Oct 9, 2020

And for the record, I was pointing out statistics. The trauma associated from the sexual violence occurring is something to be concerned about. Not negating the fact that the majority of perpetrators are men. And changing the subject doesn't mean I don't agree with what you said Mrfulmen. Simply was pointing out the reverse side of things as well. The trauma associated IS a huge problem. And SHOULD be pointed out and talked about.

SAXMANIAC​(sub female) • Oct 9, 2020

I hate that I found this thread so late and I'm probably derailing the current convo but.....I like dicks. So I like looking at them and I REALLY appreciate dick pics in profiles. So if you're a guy and you have a pic of your schlong in your profile...I just want to say thanks.

But the original post was about pics of private parts in an individual's profile. I don't think it says anything about any member of The Cage if they choose to have their body parts in their profile other than the fact that they don't mind if anyone sees their {insert body part here}. This seems to be, at least based on my short time here, a very accepting place. And there are many reasons why members may choose, or not, to showcase their body parts. I don't feel there's a double standard in that regard.