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Judgemental people

I'mME
2 years ago • Aug 18, 2022
I'mME • Aug 18, 2022
TheDean wrote:
Fuck other people, just do you



This is so ME. Fuck what others think. I can get narrow green eyes though when someone comes gunning for me with some ridiculousness.
I'mME
2 years ago • Aug 18, 2022
I'mME • Aug 18, 2022
White Knight wrote:
People tend to judge what they fear whether that be people or acts !!

The more people learn and accept other people’s ideals and reasons for being how they are the less judgemental they become!!

There is an old saying “ Before you judge someone walk a mile in their shoes”

We don’t know what we don’t know, so please engage with people, explore them with an open mind ! You might actually surprise yourself and learn something!!



Walk w mile in their shoes.

I live by this but I changed it just a tad.

Until you walk in my footsteps or beside someone who is in my footsteps, you do not get to hand me your judgment, so sit down and be quiet.

I won't bore you with the details and it may not be a fit for BDSM, PE relationships but it has suited me for quite a number of years.
I'mME
2 years ago • Aug 18, 2022
I'mME • Aug 18, 2022
Sasa wrote:
I wonder why people expect that we are less judgemental than everybody else out there. We have all sorts of people with our "special needs". Those who are highly educated; those who have to work three jobs to survive and never had the chance; those who don't want a chance; people who believe that all things they don't want or are able to follow are fake new; those who believe in conspiracy theories others here would just laugh about so hard that they start to cry. Of course people are "judgemental" ... everybody here thinks that their own idea off the world is the true one. If you are lucky they try their best. To a certain level we all stand on our molehills and explain the world to others, lol. We are humans.


Sasa,
I agree with you mostly. I'm not so sure of the end of your eloquent [as always] words. That most people are trying to do their best. Everywhere I look these days too many folks sitting on perches so high that they are constantly having bose bleeds. I sometimes try and fight against that, but other times, I just sit and shake my head.


❤️
I'mME
2 years ago • Aug 18, 2022
I'mME • Aug 18, 2022
SubtleHush wrote:
White Knight​(dom male){Not lookin}
"People tend to judge what they fear whether that be people or acts !!"
............not necessarily. In some cases perhaps. An abuse survivor might not comprehend why we like to be spanked or hit with things. They might overlap their experience with what we do and see it as violence. But what about people who totally get it and still see those who go too far as going too far? People tend to be very open because they are into the same things, or because they are newer and want to err on the side of caution.

"The more people learn and accept other people’s ideals and reasons for being how they are the less judgemental they become!!"
............ I have found the opposite to be true. The more you know the more you see through the holes in someone's rationale. People with a passion for high-quality wine will never appreciate cheap bathtub wine. Nor should they. People who prefer and are willing to invest in a high value collectable will spot a cheap knock off pretty quickly. We have plenty of cheap knock offs in this lifestyle. People who have the toys and the dialogue but are not at all what they seem to be. Should we not judge that? I will always call bullshit on that.

If you are approached by someone skeevy. Someone who stands your neck hairs on end and they want to spend time with you and you say no. You have judged them to be skeevy. I call that good sense, but it is STILL judgment.
...............................................
SashhaStrange​(other female)
"I would just like to say that I agree with you in this comment entirely in that, I choose to respect others and their kink preference and I appreciate the same respect."
............ Well, we certainly need more respect and the growth of Internet exchanges as I mentioned earlier supports that respect and common courtesy has suffered. But the question is, where do you draw the line? You have to include mental health and experience into this equation. If you worked with an obsessed co-worker who couldn't turn off his work life. Who has had three divorces because of it. Who is a substance abuser to keep up his wake time and work more, I suspect you'd see him as a person with issues.

And no matter how often he says he is happy with his life, you would judge it. If silently. And the instant his obsession affected your job security or work you might just shift into high-gear and see him as a threat. That is judging.

Just because people call something kink doesn't make it kink. Lot's of bad things have happened and been called kink. So at some point, and I don't care how open and understanding you think you are, at some point, you have to take a hard look at certain things and evaluate (judge) the risk, the cost to you for even being at the same party as that person, and the impact on those you care about.

..................And when someone says they were judged and judging is bad we all chime in. Yes! But seldom do you hear the whole story. Are you telling vanilla strangers or family that you like to be set on fire? Did you go home to your strained family relationship where people never valued you and tell them you have a kink in your life? And then when they reject you you are surprised? (both true scenarios)

Again... everyone isn't entitled to know your business. And if you know up front that they are judgey, negative, closed off, or religious zealots, stop telling them your business. They won't thank you for it. Nor are they required to endorse your choices. We subscribe to consent. That means we do not impose our choices on others. Even in discourse.

Many love the after play bruises but when you go to work or a family event bruised up, you should not be surprised when people who are not into this (subtract confusion, inexperience, and disrespect) and didn't ask to see you sporting bruises they equate to violence looked alarmed.

To assume everyone is supposed to be accepting and supportive is naive. Humans aren't wired that way. And you are only setting yourself up for hurt. Choose your timing, your audience, and give some thought as to why you share with people with whom you shouldn't share. You will still find judgment here and there but it will have no impact on you because you didn't invite it.

Lots of male subs have tried to convince me that I am a Domme. My being stronger than they are in no way makes me a Domme or their potential domme. Yet they try to argue and often will act as though I led them on. All for the fantasy they have in their head. I couldn't care less. I don't lead on and I don't pretend to be what I am not. So when they judge me I shrug. I am confident in who I am and that may be the best line of defense when faced with a judgey person.

H*



WORD.......... I am a strong person myself. I don't like to be messed with because of that though, because at some point I am going to turn around and bite a chunk...... Lol.
I'mME
2 years ago • Aug 18, 2022
I'mME • Aug 18, 2022
Steellover wrote:
dollMaker wrote:
If you express extreme right wing, racist, homophobic, transphobic, gate keeping one twue way, support an abuser, dismiss and deride others valid consent based kink choices, yes I am going to judge you, and do so to the negative. I make no apology for that. I will challenge such behaviour, and views, and when appropriate I will report you. After that I will block, mute you and remove you from my experience on this site, as I don’t want contact, or such people around or near me.

There is nothing wrong in holding such people to account, and disliking their views. Why should people just because they are kinky not be held to account for horrible views. In that context judgement is acceptable, giving a by ball, turning a blind eye in such context is simply wrong.


This is a huge issue with the forums on a certain erotic literature based site I subscribe to and post stories on (Not sure if allowed to mention the name?)

There is a small group of kink-friendly people there, but some of the forum posts from the "non-kink" erotic literature crowd literally make it seem like you are browsing Stormfront.org, EndDemocracyNow.org, or some such filth. I try to speak up against that garbage when I can, but sometimes it seems like I'm a voice in the wilderness.


TBH, I thought this conversation [Forum question] was about judging others kinks, but often these go down other paths, which is not always a bad thing.
Your comment and dollmaker's comment gave me pause for cause reflecting on being judgemental.
I tend to make up my mind about things either by research [of course there are things that one can not research other than others opinions], and sometimes I say to myself, that doesn't make any sense and if someone is trying to make me believe them, then I'm going to start firing off some questions at a rapid pace. One of my favorite sayings is...

If it doesn't make sense, then it's probably not true.
-judgejudy

I don't know if she made that up, probably not. I think I will research that till it gets daylight...

Sometimes I make decisions about things based on energy I get from it.

So while I don't care about what kinks people have, who they sleep with [unless they are going to be fucking me, 🤨 and only need that important piece of paper] , what orientation they have, trans, I could go on all day with listing but it boils down to people, I wonder if opinions are judgements?

I will do some thinking on this subject. Yours and dollmaker's answers have brought me there.
I'm not sure I will share though, but I will decide that later. Hate to overtax myself. LMAO.

Well done to both of y'all.