Nothing Thread

Defender​(dom male) • Feb 10, 2022

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are built upside-down.

cherilynn​(sub female) • Feb 11, 2022

If you have a case of the crabs and you want to get rid of them, just squat on a mirror. They will see another asshole and jump off.

RogueWolf​(dom male)​{Gaiawolf} • Feb 12, 2022

Notely • Feb 13, 2022

Road kill cafe you kill it we grill it old time joke.

Miki​(masochist female) • Feb 14, 2022

... along the same lines:

mortuary attendant answers the phone: "City Morgue: You stab 'em we slab 'em"

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Or in real life, there's a funeral home near where I live part time, their TV and print ads say:

"Exercise, eat right, and stay healthy. We can wait."

Now that's a swell commercial.

LongerJohnny​(dom male)​{B&C} • Feb 14, 2022

Little-known historical fact:
The third wife of King Henry VIII was Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

salutexlovely​(sub female)​{{Owned}} • Feb 22, 2022

I shouted a "Hello" at the ocean but it just waved...

*Rimshot

LongerJohnny​(dom male)​{B&C} • Feb 24, 2022

The average person produces one ounce of poop for each 12 pounds of their body weight. According to the CDC this means that in the United States a man of average weight produces about 1 pound of poop per day, and a woman of average weight produces about 14 ounces of poop per day.
So do the math.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female)​{LJ} • Mar 7, 2022

Platypuses have no stomachs, and male platypuses are venomous.

LongerJohnny​(dom male)​{B&C} • Mar 7, 2022

In mature adults, if you calculate the exact number of days since you reached puberty, (the period during which adolescents reach sexual maturity and become capable of reproduction) and convert into metric, the result will be the same number as your current weight.