| Cum Doctor |
4 years ago •
May 21, 2020
What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced... |
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Online now
FeistyMinx(sub female){HAPPYL❤VE}
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4 years ago •
May 21, 2020
LMAO
This one time at Bandcamp I woke from passing out, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror "oh" written on my face and my socks but my socks said "ho" ? Realized it was a mirror... Ohhhhhh HO. .... written in black marker 🤦🏻♀️ |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
Two women talking about sex one says does your twat twitch after sex? no replies the other one he just rolls over and goes to sleep!!
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Road Toad
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
Kinda off color
So we have this hill and on top of the hill this whore house.
Yeah I know. Ya'll are like Toad, how do you know that's a whore house? Well there this Big Red Light right out front by the door. So anyway, we have this Whore House on top of a Hill. There are 4 Men 1 man going up the hill 1 man going down the hill 1 man inside the whore house 1 man standing at the front door Is everyone with me so far, quick recap we have a hill with a whore house on top of it and 4 men What are the Nationalitys of these 4 Men? - What county do they come from? The man going up - He's Russian The man going Down - Finnish The man inside - Himalayan The man at the front door - Polock waiting for the red light to change |
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NoOneofConsequence(dom male){Taken}
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back. 'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.' They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks. They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest. After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, amazing time (although little sleep). The next morning, she cooked a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. The dinner... the conversation... the sex... Everything had been incredible! Mind blowing! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?' 'No,' she replies. .. .... (wait for it) ... 'You just happened to catch my eye.' |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 pounds that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,
'No, the steaks are too high.' |
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SIRMASON(dom male)
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
what does a lawyer and a hooker have in common?
they both screw people for money |
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SIRMASON(dom male)
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
man walks into his house 5 days in a row monday-friday see's his wife sliding down the banister of the stairs so each day he asks honey what you doing ?
each day she replies " heating up your dinner " so the following monday the wife wakes up takes a shower puts her work clothes on and heads to the kitchen to find her husband jerking off in a sandwich baggie and she asks honey what you doing? the husbands reply " packing your lunch" |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One's really heavy, the other's a little lighter |
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Road Toad
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4 years ago •
May 22, 2020
Little Johnny waked up by a noise from his parents room. He knocks on the door and asks his daddy what’s going on. “we are playing Pinochle” he replies. “Who’s your partner?” asked little johnny. “Sheila!” replied daddy.
Little Johnny returned to his room when he hears the same noise coming from his sister’s room. Again, he knocks on the door and asked his sister what was she doing. “Playing Pinochle.” “with whom?” he asks. “My boyfriend!” she replies. A short while later, Johnny’s father went looking for cigarettes and hears a noise coming from Little Johnny’s room. He knocks on the door and asks “What are you doing?” “Playing Pinochle!” replied Johnny. “Who’s your partner?” asked his father… Little Johnny answers promptly, “With a hand like this who needs a partner?” |
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