Protocol

Protocol

ThinkingBig • Nov 12, 2018

Hello,

I have heard about Protocol for years, however I had alot of it explained to me this weekend at Leather Fiesta in New Mexico, but I still do not understand it all! Can I get al your input on the different type of protocols!

Also I know when it comes to a
Dom - the first letter is captilized
sub - lowercase first letter

What about a switch?

Also what is old school protocol? What is today's protocol? What the differences? Benefits? Is there a hybrid version of protocol?

Is there any good examples of protocol that you are willing to talk about or tell?

I value everyones thoughts, suggestions and feedback!

I realy hope to learn more fully!

I have done some reading, but reading is very different then real life, so I would rather read peoples thoughts, suggestions and your experiences first and foremost!

Thank you!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 12, 2018

Hello-

Switch is usually S/s


Old school protocol generally is what is called "old guard".


But that can change depending on who the speaker is.

"Today's" protocol doesn't exist.

It is what you as an individual decides works for you.

And varies from community to community and group to group.

There is no overriding protocols that are definate from group to group.

There are general protocols that are normally recognized, but not always.

1- dont touch a collar
2- dont touch someone wearing a collar without permission

The take away here is that protocol is very individual.

And oftentimes is unfortunately represented as "I'm better then you because my protocol is better".

I'm vomiting in my mouth a little.

You went to Fiesta.
In Albuquerque the group protocol of the Daddys is vastly different then TNG.

I have 3 sets of protocols -
One is personal
One is public
One is public when we are throwing events

Examples are-

When handing me something use both hands.
Before serving a drink take a sip then serve with both hands.
I demand eye contact.

When MX serves my parties, I added a curtsy.

How I decided on protocol was I looked up a ton of different protocols and use the ones that connect to me.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 12, 2018

If you would like to ask more questions please feel free to join us.

https://thecage.co/events/

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 12, 2018

This got me thinking.

I tried a protocol of my love not speaking unless given permission.


That sucked.

I tried no touching unless permission first.

That sucked.


Other protocols that I have no interest in-
Giving permission for:

Going to the bathroom
Eating
Coming into the bedroom
Sending an email
Speaking


What I enjoy but is very impractical for me-


Positions
Doors
Her behind me


What I am proud of-
My loves service with multiple ppl
Most Years in first. That includes s types.
(This is different from region to region)

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Nov 12, 2018

Well said, MB! So nice to see flexibility and honesty about some of the sillier aspects of high protocol/OG stuff while at the same time respecting and understanding it. Not many who practice it are that considerate. No wonder you've earned the respect you have.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Nov 12, 2018

To me the D in dom is sometimes a capital and sometimes not . Mainly that depends on the person I am talking to or about. Meaning I have a few Dom friends who to me are truely Doms yet I will tell them they are being a silly dom,( not something I would suggest unless you really know them and are good friends). This is just a playful thing with friends and they know this and know that there is no disrespect meant by it.

The other time I say dom(s) vs Dom(s) would be when talking to a friend about a dom who has shown and proven themselves to not be a Dom.

And I feel the s always being lower case is basically ok. Although I should stagnation my blog when I sign them or I write a message to send in mail the "a" in Alawey is always a capital. Not because I see myself as Dom of some sort or switch. For I am 100% sub, but in those cases it is more of a elder thing I think. Only to say that I am either sharing my thoughts . Or in the cases of mail I only really sign them if to a new sub ( which would be the same) or in the replying to some dom who thought he could disrespect me and my Wolf by saying things he has not place in saying. And then it is to me, a way of letting them know I am not one to mess with and I have permission to jump their stupid shit and give them what for.

Ok that might not be what you are asking and I may be missing the train . And if so I am sorry for that

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 12, 2018

@alawey


Cool that this connects to you!!!

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Nov 12, 2018

@ M B

I think that these are things that everyone should understand to some part, and understand where they stand on it . Either " OG" or not, how much they feel they want the formal protocol with in their way of this.

I don't think there is any difference to knowing where you stand on that as to knowing where you stand on poly, online, or anything esle. And the only way you can figure that out is by being knowledge able or asking questions. And that both sides of the / have interesting views and ideas on things and should share and at the same time learn from others

Along with understanding the difference there is between dom and Dom.

Bunnie • Nov 12, 2018

@ MasterBear, I always appreciate information from someone who has tried and tested things for themselves. Thank you for sharing your feedback, it’s invaluable for those in the community who wish to live this lifestyle offline.

@ ThinkingBig, I tend to have a love of protocol and Old Guard, however haven’t had a huge amount of exposure to it... only a little of what I’ve been taught by my local leather community/family (who are an open, friendly wealth of knowledge), and what I’ve researched a little myself. There are so many things that appeal to me about it... but that’s my personality, and I won’t bore you with all the details. However, the thing that stands out the most to me in regards to Old Guard, is that in no way is any of it instant gratification... it’s all about earning privilege... which takes time.
New Guard is a lot more flexible and seems to be kind of like paint by numbers... the foundation and structure are kind of there, but you can choose what colours you want to use.

Savida​(other female) • Nov 12, 2018

@Master Bear , I really appreciate your posts on this topic, very interesting and informative.

Protocol is something I’ve always said I’m “against”, but I think I’m starting to soften. I’m not going to be doing anything for just any old dom because they call themselves such, but I’m generally very polite and helpful and give people the respect they project—general courtesy stuff. Maybe I’ve misunderstood what protocol really means, though.

It seems to me there are two different things folks speak of when they discuss protocol—

1) general things “every” sub “should” do to show respect for any and every D type.

2) the routines, rituals, etc established by two people in relationship.

The first would be what I’ve always balked at (although I’ve yet to encounter this issue in the physical world, yay!) when I hear the word protocol.

Maybe the community I’m edging my way into is more flexible and that’s why I’m not running up against the protocol things I’ve been feeling so uncomfortable with (I don’t defer or humble myself to show respect unless I think someone deserves that and is worthy of it), or maybe I’ve entirely misunderstood the nature of public/generalized protocols and what they mean and how they are practiced.

But even here...I don’t necessarily capitalize all D titles because, well, I don’t like the idea of showing deference or respect beyond what civility and decency requires to some random person calling themselves a D type. I’ve also been described as a wild mare so maybe that’s just part of the bucking process—try to climb on before you’ve soothed and tamed the creature and you may well find yourself on the ground, sore, and staring up at the sky.

The second kind of thing I think of when I think of protocol is something I’m softening on, and I blame dollMaker. Turns out when you have the context of caring about someone, those little things to show respect take on a different meaning entirely—a kind of service if you will, that’s very fulfilling.

Anyway, I’d love to hear some thoughts on this—especially if I’ve got the idea of protocol a bit twisted in my head. I’m trying to figure if my aversion to generalized protocol is a personality thing or a misunderstanding of what it means.

Thanks for making it to the end of what got to be a super long post.