HoneyMoon
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
I'm totally ignorant
I am very new to this entire world. I've heard and read a lot but never did I think I'd eventually feel a pull toward it. I don't know if I'm a sub or a switch (though I have a feeling I'm the former) and honestly most of the terms go through one ear and out the other. Is there an introduction? Can anyone give me an overview? e.g. is there a difference between sub and pet? Is this kind of thing super popular or is the community small? I really have no clue.
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Online now
KittenInPink(sub trans woman)
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
The community is pretty large with a variety of different smaller groups within it. And yeah pets are usually a certain type of sub while sub can be any submissive from any group not just petplayers. You have to find for yourself where you fit as far as being a sub/switch/dom etc. And yeah there is a lot to learn and many things to know, you just kinda have to delve into things and look around.
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DrWakko
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
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Allie Kat(sub trans woman){DarkFox}
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
Hi! So you said you have already read a lot so i wont stay on that too much. One thing i would make sure of is that you are reading quality materials. If your education came mostly from buzzfeed or (heaven forbid) 50 shades or grey... then i encourage you to find some materials that are based in reality
 there are people with degrees devoted to this lifestyle "Leading and supporting love" is one of my favorite books.
Anyway, i am always happy to try to help! Any questions you have, feel free to inbox me judgement free ^_^ So, there are a lot of different submissives and Dominants, but it's really just a lable to make it easier for others to know what you want and how you want to be treated without explaining everything haha A pet usually wants to have a little more freedom and less discipline/formality, however, with unquestioning obedience. Think kind of how you expect a family dog to behave and be treated. ((In my experience)), they don't really want to provide anything to the relationship other than obediance and "availability". A submissive is someone who acknowledges that as an adult they are /choosing/ to submit to their /partner/ out of trust and respect. By rights, it's the same as any other relationship, just with a different power dynamic. |
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FabSeverus(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
welcome to our world, read as much as you can to get familiar with some term, but dont get into deep stuff yet, go slowly. Google bdsm basics and choose whats best for you to understand, DrWakko wiki simple list is good for you to understand the basic.
"Is this kind of thing super popular or is the community small? " its not about whats popular or not but more about what you feel comfortable to be, of course you cant guess what you would like or not without trying. I would suggest to ask questions on forum first rather than contact anybody privately, not that I dont trust them but you get a bigger picture if you get more answers, then if you feel like one you can trust or you feel more comfortable to talk about personal matters then do it. |
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MasterBear(other butch)
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
I tell new folks that BDSM is like going to a new country.
The language, expected behavior, flags, dress, are all different. Then each region in the country is like a different type of BDSM. So the region of leather is very different then the region of pony play. Different language, colors, dress, expected social behavior. What is completely ok in one region is a no no in another and Visa versa. If one looks at BDSM as a country then there is a greater understanding of the "bigness" of it. You are in the perfect place to start your journey
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Bunnie
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5 years ago •
Nov 27, 2018
I really like that @ MasterBear, thank you
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