emotional masochism

emotional masochism

rosethorn​(sub female) • Nov 30, 2018

I am exploring the possibility that I might be emotionally masochistic. A few months after considering this, I have come to the conclusion that I have a background of emotional instability (that's the best way I can put it) this comes from a good place but is very destructive for everyone involved... its acknowledged outside this lifestyle and I have people I can talk too but in this lifestyle I have no one, im curious now around the idea of being emotionally masochistic... or if I have just become used to functioning under high levels of stress I now panic without it.. :/ again any insight and discussion around emotional masochism would be appreciated.
Thank you
rose x

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 30, 2018

Can you elaborate on being emotionally masochistic?

I.e. give examples

rosethorn​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2018

I don't function well under mild pressure but very well under high pressure. wanting to please people aka Dom or Sir, combined with high pressure situation its a little like constantly want to please but keeping within your own boundaries.

rosethorn​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2018

Not explaining this well at all am I... sorry.
I am very used to functioning under stress/ pressure what ever you want to call it... something I have noticed is if its not there and im comfy and happy I can create the pressure/ stress making it hell for anyone else involved... it could be something like cooking a three course meal in two hours and if not done I disappoint the other person. that's difficult for me. But having someone who understands the need for that pressure (im trying to get better with it, I know it isn't great), its like being in competition with yourself, While making your Dom happy.

Trinity08 • Dec 4, 2018

I also have this, mine is built around my upbringing an i find it very destructive in a relationship with others, i have found dbt therapy great an if you have someone i.e your dom who you can be totally honest with its great, i always explain it as being in a battle with myself an sometimes i just need to explode to be calm again

rosethorn​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2018

battle with yourself is a good way to put it, constant competition its exhausting

Trinity08 • Dec 4, 2018

It is very much so an its rare to find people who will totally undertand unless they know you on a personal level

rosethorn​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2018

you do need a deep level of personal knowedge to pull it off and not cross lines

Trinity08 • Dec 4, 2018

Its a real struggle i will under extreme pressure of feeling i might fail do things push my limits and beyond to try not to an if i do fail its the end of the world for me emotionally

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Dec 4, 2018

[quote="rosethorn"]Not explaining this well at all am I... sorry.

you explain it very well in your first paragraph...." I have a background of emotional instability ". this is where is coming from. But it might be a dangerous path to pursuit whith a wrong Dom.