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emotional masochism

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rosethorn​(sub female)
1 week ago • Fri 30 Nov 2018 11:06:16 PM IST

emotional masochism

rosethorn​(sub female) • Fri 30 Nov 2018 11:06:16 PM IST
I am exploring the possibility that I might be emotionally masochistic. A few months after considering this, I have come to the conclusion that I have a background of emotional instability (that's the best way I can put it) this comes from a good place but is very destructive for everyone involved... its acknowledged outside this lifestyle and I have people I can talk too but in this lifestyle I have no one, im curious now around the idea of being emotionally masochistic... or if I have just become used to functioning under high levels of stress I now panic without it.. 😕 again any insight and discussion around emotional masochism would be appreciated.
Thank you
rose x
rosethorn​(sub female)
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:08:16 AM IST
rosethorn​(sub female) • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:08:16 AM IST
I don't function well under mild pressure but very well under high pressure. wanting to please people aka Dom or Sir, combined with high pressure situation its a little like constantly want to please but keeping within your own boundaries.
rosethorn​(sub female)
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:14:17 AM IST
rosethorn​(sub female) • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:14:17 AM IST
Not explaining this well at all am I... sorry.
I am very used to functioning under stress/ pressure what ever you want to call it... something I have noticed is if its not there and im comfy and happy I can create the pressure/ stress making it hell for anyone else involved... it could be something like cooking a three course meal in two hours and if not done I disappoint the other person. that's difficult for me. But having someone who understands the need for that pressure (im trying to get better with it, I know it isn't great), its like being in competition with yourself, While making your Dom happy.
Trinity08
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:42:24 AM IST
Trinity08 • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:42:24 AM IST
I also have this, mine is built around my upbringing an i find it very destructive in a relationship with others, i have found dbt therapy great an if you have someone i.e your dom who you can be totally honest with its great, i always explain it as being in a battle with myself an sometimes i just need to explode to be calm again
rosethorn​(sub female)
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:43:49 AM IST
rosethorn​(sub female) • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:43:49 AM IST
battle with yourself is a good way to put it, constant competition its exhausting
Trinity08
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:46:00 AM IST
Trinity08 • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:46:00 AM IST
It is very much so an its rare to find people who will totally undertand unless they know you on a personal level
rosethorn​(sub female)
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:49:23 AM IST
rosethorn​(sub female) • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:49:23 AM IST
you do need a deep level of personal knowedge to pull it off and not cross lines
Trinity08
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:52:24 AM IST
Trinity08 • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:52:24 AM IST
Its a real struggle i will under extreme pressure of feeling i might fail do things push my limits and beyond to try not to an if i do fail its the end of the world for me emotionally
FabSeverus​(dom male)
1 week ago • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:56:37 AM IST
FabSeverus​(dom male) • Wed 05 Dec 2018 12:56:37 AM IST
[quote="rosethorn"]Not explaining this well at all am I... sorry.

you explain it very well in your first paragraph...." I have a background of emotional instability ". this is where is coming from. But it might be a dangerous path to pursuit whith a wrong Dom.