Newbie- where to start?

Newbie- where to start?

Interestednj • Dec 9, 2018

Hi Everyone! I was introduced to the very basics of submission by an Ex, and am looking for a place to safely learn more.Google is not always the most accurate, and I would like to find another source of info. I’m in New Jersey,
Thanks

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 9, 2018

Here are a few on submission.

The submissives guide website https://submissiveguide.com/

The submissives guide You Tube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/subguide

Useful info to know about dominance and skills.

dominants guide http://dominantguide.com/

or Morgan Thorne https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwx8uy7nxohWLwnaPocLsyg

I know you are very keen, but its way too easy and dangerous to go rushing into anything, so take your time, trust very slowly and learn first before doing.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Dec 9, 2018

I strongly suggest reading, "Leading and Supportive Love" by Chris M. Lyon. It does an excellent job of describing both roles in detail and can help you to learn way more about yourself - which is a big first step you should take. You need to know yourself pretty well before you can either take control from someone or give yourself over to another. I initially felt like I was either vanilla or a submissive the first time I read it. I didnt give it the attention it needed at that point. But when j started being really determined to learn, and I read it again, it opened my eyes and helped me to see that I was in fact a dominant person. I just have more to learn and I have to be more confident in myself.

I'm sure this book will help you too though. It's a great first step into truly understanding BDSM as a lifestyle.

Bunnie • Dec 9, 2018

Hi Interestednj, welcome

A few more links:

https://www.domsubliving.com/

https://www.katekinsey.com/advice-to-the-newbie-submissive.html

https://www.evilmonk.org/A/begintip.cfm

https://kaylalords.com/


This is my favourite, and one of the best I personally, have found:
http://kinktoychest.com/index.php/castle-realm-archives


Some other useful resources/links:
https://poly.land/

https://bdsmtest.org/select-mode



I understand that the last thing you may want to do now that you’ve discovered this exciting new world, is sit still and read lol. However, it really does help to get an understanding of yourself and what you’re looking for... as well as help to be able to see whether those around you are coming to you with knowledge or not.

Be safe. Remember to breathe. Always ask questions... no matter how “silly” they seem. Have fun

Thank you

Interestednj • Dec 9, 2018

I appreciate all the links and info and will be spending time with them!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 10, 2018

What are you looking to learn?


Are you connected to your local BDSM community?

You said your ex- do you have experience?

MaskedZadiat​(dom female) • Dec 11, 2018

All these site are a wonderful idea I would really read all of them. And after you read them I would find someone to answer the questions you will have, someone with no strings attached by that I mean someone who is there just to answer your questions not someone who's going to expect " well since you're asking me about this stuff you want to be mine therefore you're mine" sadly you will find a few people who are like this, but not all! I know quite a few who aren't myself included. I suggest when it comes time to get your questions answered to either find a sub or if you want it to be a Dom just State very clearly this is only for questions I'm not looking for a Dom at this moment

Thank you

Interestednj • Dec 16, 2018

After reading through most of the links recommend, I realized I assumed way more than I should have. Plus I have been contacted by so many members, from all over the place, that it’s all but overwhelming. It’s also a little discerning to put my sex life out there like that. But I’ve found my interested even more peaked in submission. And I’m really wishing there was a bdsm 101 I could sing up for, lol. Thank you all

Hidden Secret​(sub female) • Dec 16, 2018

When you find the BDSM 101 class, please let me know because I also need to sign up for it. Lol

SirHanz​(dom male){Minx} • Dec 17, 2018

Not a bad idea. Maybe a few doms on the site could organize a 101 class. I would be willing to participate.