A curious question for the Dominants...

A curious question for the Dominants...

Bunnie • Dec 16, 2018

Which is more important for you to receive?
Love or Respect

Bishop​(dom male) • Dec 16, 2018

I guess it all depends on how you define the terms, but for me there cannot be one without the other. I define love as, “a conscious decision to put someone else’s needs before mine. Her needs/wants before my own, her before me.” In that definition must be the idea of respect. If we seek to put someone’s needs, desires, or wants before our own, I would have to have respect for that person in order to do so and would hope she would have the same view toward me. Is it possible to have one without the other?

Itsmichelle • Dec 16, 2018

Respect

Fudbar​(dom male)​{❤️❤️❤️} • Dec 16, 2018

Interesting question Bun;

a bunch of scattered thoughts on this:

- Both are earned, so I'd expect to earn both in a good relationship, if not, someone screwed up.

- My first instinct is to say love. Yep. Love at core.

- I'm assuming this is within the context of a relationship.

- Love and respect outside of relationships seem more like ego than any real need.

- I'm not sure how within a relationship, at least a healthy one how you could have one without the other.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 16, 2018

Sex.



That was a choice right?

Major Zach​(dom male) • Dec 16, 2018

True Respect is something that is earned - not taken - and only given when felt it is deserved. I am required by regulation to respect a higher ranking officer, so I will respect his or her higher rank without question. Respecting the person who wears the higher rank, however, is a totally different matter, and the two are not always in sync.

It has been my experience in BDSM relationships where true trust is the cornerstone, foundation, and key-stone upon which all else will be built and supported, that trust, love, and devotion, which must be freely and honestly given, cannot exist in the absence of respect. Therefore, it follows that without respect there will be no love.

So the question you are asking provides it's own answer - to my mind at least.

~Z.

SirHanz​(dom male)​{Minx} • Dec 16, 2018

Wow.. I started to write love. Thinking that respect and love go together. But then I thought a little deeper. What kind of love? There are many different kinds. And some do not have much respect at all. Think of the rebellious teenager and the parent. Do they love their parent? Yes. Respect? Nope. Maybe the whole question has sent my mind deep down the rabbit hole. Forced to choose and forced to live with the choice, I would find myself spiraling inward through knots of logic and myriad possibility. Most likely my eyes would glaze over and I would be catatonic for several hours.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme)​{Allie Kat} • Dec 16, 2018

Love is the one thing that is most powerful in this world to me. Without delving into my religious views as they're part of it, there is little more important than love to me, so absolutely I will say love.

Trust and respect help to build love, so once I've achieved a true, honest love, I'll have respect as well.

But you can respect someone/something without love.

So I'm answering love and that will always be my answer when it is a choice.

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Dec 16, 2018

Love. I don't see how you can have love without respect, so love for me is the answer. Not just as a Dom, but as a man. I could write lots about this, but sometimes simple as answers are the best.

There is someone in this community who shows me what love is all about constantly. She is all I could ever ask for. Its love for me.

granitebayde​(dom male) • Dec 16, 2018

Devotion.... a good mix of both love and respect.