Dom/Master

Dom/Master

Beth39 • Feb 18, 2017

Hi everyone, I'm still fairly new to this site (and bdsm, so still learning) but I was curious about people's opinions on here about a question that popped up recently. Is there a difference between a Master and a Dom. I have read various different posts on the Internet and it's a little confusing. What do you guys think?

Villanelle​(staff) • Feb 19, 2017

Most of the people I know who use Master are into Old Guard. And by the way, that's not only male dominants. Many female dominants use master as well. If you aren't familiar with the term Old Guard, here's a decent introduction...

http://www.evilmonk.org/a/oldguard.cfm

Guy Baldwin might be one of the more well known experts of sorts on this topic.

What title a dominant prefers can depend on a variety of factors, some deeply meaningful, some more random. My female dominant friends often choose between Mistress (some dislike the secretive lover connotation - some love the old head of house hold or Roman meaning behind the word), others Domina (again, see Roman head of house), some Lady, some Miss, and again, some Master as in having 'mastered' something or someone. Some hate titles altogether. There is no particular commonality between which title and why. Everyone has their reasons. And the reasons are fascinating. But I reject any idea that there's a definitive definition or rule.

Enfield​(other female) • Jul 13, 2017

Related question, when meeting new people and talking, is it necessary/expected to use titles without being asked? Ex if you see someone defines themselves as a Dom, you you automatically call them Master/Mistress?

Villanelle​(staff) • Jul 13, 2017

I don't address anyone with a title and don't expect anyone to use one with me unless we are in a high protocol environment with established rules or if we are in a relationship and I have instructed the submissive to do so.

T slave​(sub female){Owned} • Jul 14, 2017

I do out of courtesy answer with sir or ma'am when speaking in online chat but that is more out of common courtesy that I would use in everyday life and not just in play. I do not think the title of Master or Mistress is appropriate as Evangelina stated until the relationship is established.
A true dom/sub relationship does not happen in a few minutes of online chatting!

Enfield​(other female) • Jul 14, 2017

@Ts slave thank you, I should have included what an appropriate term would be in my question as well, online is different because you loose tone

@Evangeline thank you as well

crn​(dom male) • Aug 10, 2017

I tend to agree to with the previous comments.

Sir or madam perhaps should be said out of manners or early stages of training.

I would personally view Master / Mistress once a collar is given or a contract signed and the relationship has been cemented.