Seeing other people

Seeing other people

Kitty21​(sub female) • Jan 22, 2019

Is it common practice for Dom (mes) to 'date' on the side, even if they own a sub?

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Jan 22, 2019

I don't think there is anything common about how any of us practices relationships, so I'm not sure if that's a good yardstick.

Speaking for myself, I date vanilla from time to time, but there's nothing 'on the side' about it. It's all part of getting to know people better. I don't consider anyone I'm with owned, but if it were a case of M/s, I'd like to think that would have been negotiated and all parties were aware of the dynamic when appropriate.

Open and honest with all while respecting individual privacy as much as possible is the line I try to walk. I stumble and wobble, but for the most part it's good.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jan 22, 2019

Depends on the dynamic with the submissive not all Dom/mes have anything sexual with a submissive.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Jan 22, 2019

I wouldn't say its common practice, but it does happen. As Fyglia said it depends on the couple. What works for one, might not work for another.

For me, it wouldn't work. I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband, but if that ever did change, /we/ would see other people, together, not as individuals. They would be dating /us/, not one. So even if we open up it still wouldn't be me seeing other people alone Haha.

But, some relationships work that way and flourish in that style. It really varies.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 22, 2019

Polyamory, poly sexual, open relationships-

All good as long as you are honest up front.

Re: Seeing other people

raymandom • Jan 22, 2019

Re: Seeing other people

raymandom • Jan 22, 2019

a dom has not the right to see others on the side, when the submissive gives their all they should expect the same back, love the one you are with unless the submissive allows you to explore with others, with the view to the other being a sister sub.

Bunnie • Jan 23, 2019

Hi @ Kitty21,

“Is it common practice for Dom (mes) to 'date' on the side, even if they own a sub?”

If you’re asking if functional, open, honest, agreed and negotiated polyamorous/polygamous/open relationships are common practice? I would say, no. Do they exist? Yes.

If you’re asking if there are many who want to use the above mentioned relationships as an umbrella to play the field or collect? More common, yes.

In my opinion, what matters is working out what fits right for you. Attempting to “be” poly just because you like someone, is a disaster waiting to happen. This is something that should be discussed up front before you even find yourselves considering being together, in my opinion, because it’s ultimately about finding what relationship fits you best and sharing that with those you care about. This requires a lot of self reflection and honesty... not just with others, but also with yourself.

Justme26 • Jan 23, 2019

It might be common but I think it should not be done without the subs agreement.