Just curious

Just curious

Barbie girl • Feb 23, 2019

Why everyone hesitate to agree they are a dom or sub in public/workplaces?

Confused • Feb 23, 2019

Cause its really scary to admit who you really are.

Eyeswideopen​(sub female)​{MYSELF} • Feb 23, 2019

Because they automatically assume youve either got a red room in your house or that you are being abused

Kara​(sub female)​{Dark Roast} • Feb 23, 2019

Society in general equates BDSM with abuse. Publicly being out can lead to massive amounts of discrimination. People have lost jobs or business in addition to custody of children.

In addition, whose business is it what you do in private ? Most people don’t even talk about having vanilla sex in public. The same applies to kink. Discretion is appropriate no matter what the type of relationship.

MasterRon​(dom male) • Feb 23, 2019

Because there are somethings which even the 21st century public is yet to accept (unfortunately). Hope this will change in the distant future but dont see it happening now. But that's the reason we have spaces like this where we can meet and greet... and possibly do much more ??!!

Lotus​(sub female) • Feb 23, 2019

People are afraid of and reject things that make them uncomfortable or things they do not understand. Most people are uncomfortable with bdsm or simply do not understand bdsm and the attraction to it.

Plus, it’s nobody’s business!!

DrWakko • Feb 24, 2019

For the most part Bdsm is illegal. As far as I know in the US you can not consent to being assaulted (hit). In some US states if the police are called for domestic violence issues and they see what appears to be a fresh bruise or red mark they MUST take the other person into custody.

On top of that most males were raised to never hit a female. So a male gets looked down upon if they are believed to be into that. However males who go to Pro Dommes don’t get the same stigma.

Also some companies make you sign a morality cause. And Bdsm is on the list of things not moral.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 24, 2019

People can loose their jobs, security clearance, licensees. custody of their children, housing, and their freedom.


Bdsm is illegal.


In many states it is also classified as a sex crime.
This means that if convicted your name goes on the sex offender registry. This is both topping and bottoming.

If caught talking about it on the job you can be fired for sexual harrassment.

If you are cleared legally- the publicity can financially and socially destroy you.

These are very real CONSEQUENCES that happen everyday.

SoaringFree​(sub female) • Feb 24, 2019

It's sad. I came out to a friend last weekend about the lifestyle I'm trying to enter and she was a little surprised at first, but then started laughing and said not really. If she thinks about prior conversations, it all clicks together. I would never be able to be public. Losing my job would be guaranteed. Educated adult contributing to our society and our futures and they would fire me in a heartbeat.

masokitten​(sub female)​{Not lookin} • Feb 24, 2019

Because people automatically think it’s abuse and judge you.
I came out to my sister (who I tell everything to) and the first thing she said was “... so you like to get beat?”

And I literally had to explain a bit of the lifestyle to her. When I did, she sort of understood a bit more.
But unfortunately sometimes people don’t ask to know and just judge the shit out of you/ any of us.

And yes, what everyone else has said, it’s basically illegal.