Finding myself

Finding myself

Turtle17​(sub female) • Sep 6, 2019

So I have been on and off this site (mostly due to time) I know that I am a submissive. I have never been in a d/s relationship and am unsure how to approach or talk to anyone. I've been debating a while about how to go about asking for advise/mentoring. I come across as shy at first but I'm not known for that by those who actually know me. I am awkward around new people.
Any advise is greatly appreciated.

NCarraway​(dom male) • Sep 6, 2019

Welcome

I'd suggest finding some profiles/blogs/posts of people that appear to be a) the right side of sanity and b) active here, and approach them for a conversation. Most people who have some experience are more than willing to have an interesting conversation with a newbie. If the communication is good they will be quite open about answering all kinds of questions - if you are into kink there aren't too many topics that are off-limits.

Occasionally you might come across a grump... but you have come across grumps in real life i'd imagine.

NC

Little momma​(sub female) • Sep 6, 2019

Hi Turtle...Welcome! NCarraway is definitely on the mark. I spent my first few weeks reading blogs and profiles of both Doms and Subs. It helped me get a general understanding and I ran across some great people who answered all my bazillion questions.

If you want to chat, I'd be happy to talk with you.

Turtle17​(sub female) • Sep 7, 2019

Thank you NCarraway and Little momma. I appreciate your responses and advise. I have been reading the personals and many profiles. I will look at more blogs.

I do have some issues making contact first. It has always ended up being bad for me.

DrWakko • Sep 7, 2019

My suggestion is to ask lots of questions. And a mentor will never say they want to be your mentor. Find people who have the same interests as you and ask them. Ask from both sides of the slash. Both sides offer a unique view on things. Take notes and everything will be just fine.

DW

Finding yourself.

Shiruba Doragon​(dom male) • Sep 7, 2019

Getting to know yourself is a lifetime pursuit. Start by learning to love yourself (Warts and all) is a good place to start.
Getting to know other people starts with putting yourself out there. Learn to trust your feelings and intuition. Ease yourself int relationship, you will know if and when to raise the subject of D/s relationships. Good luck.

NCarraway​(dom male) • Sep 7, 2019

@Turtle17

At this stage in your journey you should definitely be the one to approach. It is safer for you to choose the people you talk with compared to the other option of talking with whoever comes to you. I would widen your target group to people you are and are not immediately attracted to. You want to absorb as many ideas and perspectives as possible.

I'd suggest changing your profile to 'just looking for friends at the moment' (I have no idea what yours says), and approaching with a message like this...

HI,
I saw your blog/post/profile and found it really interesting ... the thing that spoke to me was ... I am at the start of my journey and want to make connections and understanding as much as possible. I'd be really interested in talking to you and gaining another perspective on my journey here. I can be reached here at the cage.
Hope to hear from you, have a great day
Turtle17

Some things work out, some things don't. You should not overthink this.