Short reply, and thinking it's okay.

Short reply, and thinking it's okay.

Theo Seymo​(dom male) • May 28, 2017

When it's not, if I send a long informative message, don't short reply, if your not interested, just say so, some of us Dom's, and masters don't like being dragged along in the mud. A straight forward answer is usually the best answer, and a short reply is just a bad thing to do. It shows disinterest or hasty answering just to get it over with like you don't care. I don't care much for it, and don't need it in my life, short replies are only for moments of confirmation or acceptation, and other just as small conversation pieces not always important to heavier subjects. I ask for details, information about a person, and I get a short reply as confirmation, but no new information, I consider it an avoidance, a cowardice on their part, and I only let it slide a few times, then I act after by confrontation or ignoring them, and not talking to them again. It's not abuse, but it does cause problems. Why should I be wasting my time on someone who can't give me a straight answer when I could be talking to someone who is telling me everything delightful to hear? I don't waste my time on bs, I have been through too many vanilla relationships that scarred my heart, and if I'm given short replies, after awhile, I move on. Talk to me in an intellectual level, and you'll get the same from me, it's not impossible to do nor hard to ask. Thank you for listening.

Rod​(dom male) • May 29, 2017

I agree.
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No seriously I do, its so annoying when you spend time and effort composing a thoughtful message, reply or post only to have someone dump 3 words back at you as a response.
My thoughts are if this is how they start out then it isn't likely to get any better so, like you, I just don't bother. First impressions count for a lot and in online relationships and play what you write and the effort you put into is all there is really.
For me its just as bad if the response is longer but full of "txt spk", and I know that a lot of that stems from the fact that many people now use their phones in forums like this rather than a laptop but text is limited enough in how much it conveys already, it can't afford to be truncated down to a stream of abbreviations and emoji's.

Mistress Ann​(dom female) • May 29, 2017

I would like to share my view on this topic, and add in a few things myself.

Personally speaking of these short replies, I find there is two things that needs to be said on this matter. The first is that if some one is taking the time to write you an email, then the courteous and most polite thing to do is reply to them. Even if you are not interested in what they have to say or offer, then at least email them back and let them know.

Secondly I agree with Theo. If some one takes time out to send you an informative and detailed email, you should extend the same courtesy of giving a decent reply back. This one line stuff does get old quick. Because if you send a short reply which takes only seconds to type and send, then you are showing that your are just wanting to end the email rather quickly. This shows a huge disrespect to both yourself and the person your contacting.

Third, I want to add in the only time I truly don't mind a quick reply is if I am asking my slave or sub (whoever they may be) at the time a simple yes or no question. Or something that doesn't require a long drawn out answer. It all depends on what is being asked or said at the time as well.

Fourth, What i really don't like the most about emails or chats is when people leave rudely and don't contact you for days after showing an interest in getting to know you better as you get to know them. Now i do understand Real Life does become a problem every now and then and you cant stay online. But it would be nice to get a "talk to you later" or "can we talk some other time" or something of the like to show that person your talking to your not just leaving them high and dry specially after you and them both have been having a great conversation. Don't just leave them hanging with no word.

To me personally, i love long replies or at least something that is 3 lines or more.

But when you reply to some one. Don't just throw anything out on to the screen and be done with it. Take your time, think what you want to say, and then say it. Anyways i am sure there will be people out there who disagree with me and that's fine. But in the end, its all about common courtesy and respect for one another.

I thank all who reads this post

Bunnie • May 30, 2017

Thank you this is good feedback to hear. I know for myself that when I first joined the cage I felt really intimidated and unsure of how to respond to messages. I have always responded respectfully and as honestly as possible however I hadn't taken into consideration the length or depth of the reply and the context in which that might be received. I apologise if I offended anyone because of this. But it has given me something to keep in mind in the future.

EmberAshdown​(switch female){Collared} • May 30, 2017

This is a really informative post to find, and I agree completely. If time is taken to write a message with depth, it should be responded to with more than just a handful of short words. It's rude and disrespectful to just throw a message out there without giving it much thought at all, especially if a mutual interest has been shown between communicating parties.

I like to think that the same courtesy should be returned to subs who write in-depth messages, too. If a sub responds with a decent message to respond to a first message, any responses shouldn't be suddenly cut down to next to nothing. I can't speak for any other subs here, but for me, it makes me feel like I've said something wrong and the interest has suddenly disappeared or something.

Mistress Ann​(dom female) • May 30, 2017

In response to Pixie's comment I agree both sides needs to extend the same respect and courtesy when replying to emails and or when talking to them.
Personally I wished both sides communicated more. In all honesty, it is the polite thing to do. Specially when some one has shown an interest in you. I mean how hard is it to sit down and type something out. If people can chat for hours about this and that, why can't they take the time to give a note worthy reply.

Sorry if I seem agitated but it really upsets me when people give no replies at all and or replies with only a couple words.

lil_dirtysugar​(sub gender fluid) • May 31, 2017

Just cause i gotta do it.. i agree in many ways. But.. Now ive yet to have it happen here. But what about those of us lil subs out here that for the first time had a Domme/Dom actually send you words. Words like honey and more then like 5. And it made ya ache. Made you elated. Made you think sumone really has interest in me.. and where did the words and pages n pages sent back get you. Them trying to scam, use you. Its really is tough. Especially at the beginning. Now im to a point that i just luv playin with the fakers and postin their next message in their 'line' before they do. The smart ones disappear. But many bad experiences have jaded me a lil. Once again.. not this site, and tis part of why i luv it here. But young subs get played min by min. And many of us dont even know how to know better til its been a bad experience. Just becausr we so want to believe that finally sumone accepts us

Eagertolearn​(switch male) • Jun 1, 2017

I strongly believe that the most important foundation stone in my relationship with My Mistress on the Cage was all down to those first few messages with one another, being, frank, honest and spending time setting out the rules my Mistress expected me to stay within. Then I would reply in depth my thoughts and our relationship developed and grew from there. You have to put the work and effort into any relationship, whether it be Kink or Vanilla, from day one - it was mentioned above by Rod and Anne - first impressions. Its a cliché, but it is a cliché because it holds true.

It shouldn't be a chore to reply back in depth to someone, it should be part of the journey and should be enjoyed as much as the physical things we do. Getting to know someone important in your life is a series of steps, not a quick dash.

Mistress Ann​(dom female) • Jun 2, 2017

Recently I was looking at a persons profile here but I will not say who they are (to protect their identity). Anyways to the point, their profile was really detailed and very specific on what they was looking for. This person definitely piqued my interest. So I emailed them and the email was quite decent. It was not short nor was it to long winded. I told them I was pretty much interested in talking to them and that we shared a lot of the same views in things, specially when it concerns the lifestyle. Anyways you figure they would reply. Nope. Not a single reply. So I went out of my way to send another a lil bit later in the day. Only to be blown off again. Yes this person states on their very own profile they are "Looking for an owner to serve" So I waited for a lil bit longer. It became clear that they are not wanting to reply. I was like, well damn. If they wasn't interested in talking to me, they should have at least sent a reply saying "not interested". But they didn't even do that. I don't see how they are going to find some one here to take them on if they don't take the time to reply to emails. So why even post any profile information that you are looking to be owned, if you don't take the time to reply to people. That's pretty much shooting yourself in the foot. I don't understand that person one bit.

Faerietattoo​(switch female){None} • Jun 3, 2017

Quoting lildirtysugar ''And many of us dont even know how to know better til its been a bad experience. Just becausr we so want to believe that finally sumone accepts us.'
I think I have just had my second bad experience. A short reply would have been better than no reply at all, but hey ho - another hard lesson learned. Thanks for the education, the game and the hurt. Because now I know myself even better. Those that show bitter to others who don't sent the reply that you want to receive - you need to look at yourself and ask yourselves why you feel that way. What real right do you have to command? None what so ever.