Don't want to seem creapy, but

Don't want to seem creapy, but

Justme26 • Sep 30, 2019

I am thinking of paying, just for a month or two, to be a full member of this site. However the only reason for this would be if I wanted to send private messages. Most of the ladies on this site are a bit to a lot, younger than me, and whirl I like the age difference, some of them might find it a bit creepy. Sometimes I read blogs from ladies who have split from or been mistreated by there domes (or whatever) and I think could I help, in a small way, to make them feel better, or would I just seem creepy or "thirsty". I don't want to get a reputation for being any of these things (creepy, thirsty, opportunist) and I really do not know if I would be a comfort to anyone, although I would be willing to try my best.

For those who do not know I suffer from Aspergers syndrome, which is partly why these questions are so hard for me. I would really appreciate any advice that anyone can give me.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Sep 30, 2019

I would get to know people and let helping, encouraging etc follow on from that, but not be the reason for getting to know people. Sweeping in with an agenda fuelled by wanting to help is called white knighting and while that can be born out of a genuine desire to help, coming from a place of empathy more often than not its not, and is seen as being creepy, and in some cases is used as away of getting into a subs life where the motivation is not to help but get in their virtual or physical world knickers. There are a few so called doms on here well known for trying that on regularly. So many subs would be very wary of doms sweeping in with offers to help, and if they are not, they should be on their guard.

Now I am not saying this regarding you, but as I opened with, I would go premium to improve your communication options and that can help you become friends with people, but only for that reason and that reason alone. Let getting to know people and people getting to know you be the motivation and the only motivation. Once friendships are established then those friends might ask for help, and be more willing in accepting advice, and help. By being friends you are in a better place to know the person and be able to offer, if needed, asked for advice, help that might have more value, be tailored, as you know the person. Often random advice, help misses the mark because it comes from a place of ignorance, and well meaning or not, may be exactly what isnt required and could make things worse.

You would also be able to take part in the chat room, The Lobby, and people can get to know you and they you. If you have general ideas or advice why not offer those thoughts in your blogs, another way people can get to know you, and see what makes you tick as a human being.

If you do go premium I look forward to seeing you in the chat room some time in the future.

Manorbier​(dom male) • Sep 30, 2019

Have to echo dM's sentiments, here.
By all means, get a premium subscription as a way of communicating further but before you go swooping in to rescue damsels in distress, consider a few things.

Write some blogs, let people get to know you a bit through them. Your blog can be about anything, it's your blog. I've only a few blog entries and they're mostly about music. So blogging is a good way to get your name out there and letting people see what you're about. And like dM said, get in the chat room. It isn't the busiest, but when there's a few people in there, it can be good fun. Another good way to get to know people.

And I think the other best piece of advice I can offer is to get to know people as friends first. In my opinion, frienship is the essential basis for any relationship, D/s included.

Take your time, get to know people and see how you get on.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Oct 1, 2019

How would you go about doing this ?