Patiently waiting(sub female){WolfeHamme}
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5 years ago •
Nov 6, 2019
Being dropped
Is it normal to feel discarded when a Dominant doesn't want you anymore? Maybe you grew apart. Maybe the dynamic changed. Maybe you figured out you want something more. I know it was for the best, and I'm still evolving, but is this normal? Feeling as though you're not wanted? We discussed it at length, and it's for the best for both of us, but I still can't wrap my head around it. I need some words of comfort.
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Online now
Sir Trini(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Nov 6, 2019
Generally speaking, yes. You will feel at a loss, and depending on how long the relationship was or how it evolved will influence the way you feel. I often remind people that even though you’re in a D/s relationship while the dynamic is different from a vanilla relationship, the feelings can be somewhat the same. So what you’re feeling now is normal. Once you meet someone else who can provide that sense of belonging to you, you’ll be good.
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AKittenforSir(sub female){JohnBond}
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5 years ago •
Nov 6, 2019
Of course. Just because it’s a bdsm dynamic doesn’t mean it’s all business, there are feelings involved too. You are human afterall. Just because the ending was amicable doesn’t mean you won’t feel sad or hurt. What you’re experiencing is completely normal.
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MasterBear(other butch)
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5 years ago •
Nov 6, 2019
All feelings are valid.
They are also transitory. Im sorry for you rough patch. |
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CrimsonRose
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5 years ago •
Nov 7, 2019
When one gets involved with another, and it ends the feelings of loss are to be expected. Take the time to heal and move forward at your own pace. By the way don't agree with the comment "Once you meet someone else who can provide that sense of belonging to you, you’ll be good. " You don't need another to validate who you are, you are a special individual in and of yourself. It is always nice to have a relationship and there are lots of rewards but there are also responsibilities. So double edged sword either way. Huge Hugs, and many blessings from TX Red
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TheChimera(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Nov 7, 2019
Rejection in any kind of way hurts...
You developed something with that other person, you worked at it. And now, that work is undone. That can be completely frustrating. Just don't lose sight of what's ahead, yeah? Take some time to take care of yourself. It's ok to be tender to yourself. Maybe do something you love doing, like drawing, or sewing. Some kind of hobby. Take a nice hot or cold shower (whichever you like more.) Go for a long walk. (Or just exercise, get a kick of endorphins!) When you're ready and not aching so much, take time to look back on this. Review over what worked, what didn't. Grow from it. Carry what you learned into your next relationship. What you had? It was just a stepping stone, not the end of the road! I'm proud of you for coming this far. Don't give up! <3 -Auria |
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AshenFenrir(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Nov 7, 2019
Well, I cant speak with any certainty about the feeling of being discarded..but like auria said, rejection of any kind hurts. I've found that relationships and bonds formed within the lifestyle seem to be a bit deeper to me, than those which are purely vanilla (your mileage may vary) Whether due to a deeper connection, the almost constant requirement for even more effective communication, or the fact that the things each learns about the other go beyond what might be brought up in vanilla circles with friends, family, even significant others.
It does hurt to lose someone, and while an amicable ending may soften the blow, it never erases it. In time that pain will fade, and you'll be able to continue on with your own journey. Take some time and focus on yourself, do the things you love and just work through this one day at a time. How many times we fall, or how hard we fall aren't what matters. What we do after, does. Hoping for the best for you! Ash |
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