annabellestasia(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 12, 2019
Mostly “woe is me” but also, tell me about your firsts!
Hey all!
Nervously typing my first forum post... Go easy on a newbie! 😊 I signed up to thecage a few months ago. I read a few profiles most days, lurk around in the blog posts, read my messages (or at least the ones that haven’t been copied and pasted *eyeroll*)... But I’m yet to engage with anyone who genuinely interests me. I’m starting to wonder whether an online forum is even the right place to meet my first Dom? I’ve never been attracted to someone I met online, Ive always needed a combination of physical attractiveness, intellect and to feel that persons physical dominance and presence to spark attractiveness.... But then I’m yet to meet someone who can fulfil my true needs in the “real-world!”... So, I’ve whined on for long enough.... I guess I wanted to ask, how did you meet your first Dom/Sub? Was it online? Was it at a first meet up? What was it like? Do you have any advice (and if you have exciting stories to share at the same time, those will at least lighten my sulky mood  ), for a frustrated, almost ready to quit newbie?
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Online now
LaVieEnRose(sub female){Kintsugi}
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5 years ago •
Dec 13, 2019
welcome!!
I’m a fair newbie myself but one thing I’ve found that your first few days yes you will find your inbox flooded by Dom’s looking for an insta sub or just a quickie. I do encourage reading the profiles because to me it was a good way to know what signs I was looking for to discern someone who wasn’t genuine and someone who was. Also the forum and the blogs are great, there are a few Dom’s on there who have some great blogs about what a true genuine Dom should be like and again it’s a great guide for you to know what to look for. While online might not be for everyone, I think give it a chance. If anything you’ll learn so much; learn a bit about what you are looking for and what kind of Dom you are looking for. And there are so many sub forums and blogs as well where they talk about their relationships and challenges and again, if nothing else it is just a great learning source. And if you leave yourself open to it, you may find someone. If there is a Doms profile you find interesting, as long as there is no sign that he is attached then you should message him, there is no etiquette I’ve seen that says a sub can’t approach a Dom. And you may find that you have to talk to a few before you find someone, but I’m going to go with the cliche that you’ll know when you’ve found the right one. 
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SheaSubbyButter(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 13, 2019
Hey there!
I totally understand how you feel, I feel the same way on most of your points and I have been here for a couple months now. But as LaVieEnRose, a song I love by the way, says it’s more here and I echo those very words. I love the forums and posts from many of the people here and in such a short time I have learned so much and am grateful for everyone that has imparted knowledge on me as I continue to grow and learn more every time I visit which is often😂 I have made some friends and had some amazing conversations while they have not lead to something serious, at least not yet, the ability to be with like minded people is so amazing in and of itself especially since I have yet to find a local group in my area. There are drawbacks, risks and sometimes diminished returns to anything that involves putting yourself out there, but the rewards can be found in other ways until you meet that special Dom just for you and I’m a romantic so I believe in my subby heart that their is one out there for us! In the meantime, have fun, it’s fun here😊 Make friends, chat, post here like you did today, there are many awesome people here that will definitely brighten up your day with their conversations. |
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FunCouple{.-Couple-.}
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5 years ago •
Dec 13, 2019
Hello
I originally met Kitty online but because of where I live we were long distance. Long, long distance ...... but we made it. Some of my/our adventures are documented on our Blog. Hope it helps answer some questions, but everyone’s journey is different. Be safe. FC |
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justwatching
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5 years ago •
Dec 13, 2019
Hello
Firstly, don’t give up on your search. I met Him on this website. He lives in a different state so we are in an LDR (for now at least). Funny thing is, when I first joined I only wanted local Doms. Like you, I needed physical touch and thought LDR’s were stupid. I met up with a few Doms IRL who contacted me from this site and long story short, we were not fit for each other. The first Dom was a breathtaking, beautiful, black man who looked like the Ancient Greek sculptures. Where he exceeded my expectations on looks, he severely lacked in the personality department. He was an asshole. Second Dom, he had a great personality but we didn’t “click”. There was no connection and/or fire. Now onto my Dom, he is the perfect combination of both. Beautiful black man and great personality. Lol. Plus the added passion and fire 😉. I’ve never felt closer to someone who lives thousands of miles away from me. While he hasn’t touched me physically, he’s touched my heart in ways nobody else has. He knows me better than myself sometimes. He has put in the time and effort to understand me despite his demanding job. I am super fortunate to have ended up with such an amazing man and Dom. Some advice: If meeting someone local, meet up in a very public place WITH OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. Example: Starbucks coffee shop. When you two meet, ask to see their drivers/state license to verify their identity. If they refuse, get out of there ASAP. Give a trusted person your location details and if you have an iphone you could “share” your location so they have a live view of your location at all times. For users other than Apple there’s an app called Life360 which does the same thing. If it makes you feel better carry a pepper spray on you. You can buy ones that attach to your key ring. For not local: Ask to see pictures of them. FaceTime/Skype/whatever/ to verify those pictures. You need to see them LIVE. I’ve heard some horror stories about Doms and subs who send a pic of themselves and it was from 10 years ago when they weren’t overweight and grey, as soon as they did a live session the truth came out. If they refuse to send a pic and/or live sess then please move onto the next contestant. Of course listen to your gut. Your gut is an amazing organ and is almost always right. If you have a bad feeling about someone it’s cause some fishy stuff is happening. Wishing you the best of luck ❤️ |
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ThirtyFourPointFive
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5 years ago •
Dec 13, 2019
My first submissive came from a random meet in a tavern. When I was finally able to bed her, her obedience was impossible not to notice. Like a good lover, I went with the flow. At the end of our sessions she was always a quivering mass of post orgasmic jelly.
We eventually broke up due to differences in our goals, and even though I have not seen her since, that woman supplied me with years of solo fantasy material
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annabellestasia(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 14, 2019
Hey LaVieEnRose!
Nice to online meet you!
I think you’re right - I’ve devoured so much in the forums and blogs, so I don’t see it as a “failure” at all, it’s been a great learning experience... Even if I don’t meet someone online! Thank you, you’ve given me some encouragement to keep reading and looking for what I need!
LaVieEnRose wrote: welcome!!
I’m a fair newbie myself but one thing I’ve found that your first few days yes you will find your inbox flooded by Dom’s looking for an insta sub or just a quickie. I do encourage reading the profiles because to me it was a good way to know what signs I was looking for to discern someone who wasn’t genuine and someone who was. Also the forum and the blogs are great, there are a few Dom’s on there who have some great blogs about what a true genuine Dom should be like and again it’s a great guide for you to know what to look for. While online might not be for everyone, I think give it a chance. If anything you’ll learn so much; learn a bit about what you are looking for and what kind of Dom you are looking for. And there are so many sub forums and blogs as well where they talk about their relationships and challenges and again, if nothing else it is just a great learning source. And if you leave yourself open to it, you may find someone. If there is a Doms profile you find interesting, as long as there is no sign that he is attached then you should message him, there is no etiquette I’ve seen that says a sub can’t approach a Dom. And you may find that you have to talk to a few before you find someone, but I’m going to go with the cliche that you’ll know when you’ve found the right one. |
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annabellestasia(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 14, 2019
Thank you SheaSubbyButter!
What I’m feeling is definitely the sense of community here is strong... I’m so glad I posted as I now have a renewed sense of enthusiasm (and patience! Ha!). From one romantic to another - I hope you find your Dom too, but until then - it’s so nice to online meet you, I’ll be hanging out in the forums so more so I’ll see you around!
SheaSubbyButter wrote: Hey there!
I totally understand how you feel, I feel the same way on most of your points and I have been here for a couple months now. But as LaVieEnRose, a song I love by the way, says it’s more here and I echo those very words. I love the forums and posts from many of the people here and in such a short time I have learned so much and am grateful for everyone that has imparted knowledge on me as I continue to grow and learn more every time I visit which is often😂 I have made some friends and had some amazing conversations while they have not lead to something serious, at least not yet, the ability to be with like minded people is so amazing in and of itself especially since I have yet to find a local group in my area. There are drawbacks, risks and sometimes diminished returns to anything that involves putting yourself out there, but the rewards can be found in other ways until you meet that special Dom just for you and I’m a romantic so I believe in my subby heart that their is one out there for us! In the meantime, have fun, it’s fun here😊 Make friends, chat, post here like you did today, there are many awesome people here that will definitely brighten up your day with their conversations. |
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annabellestasia(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 14, 2019
I can’t say enough how grateful I am for this... I like to think of myself as pretty “wise” but I’d not have thought about half of the advice you’ve given me! I guess perhaps meeting someone off here feels such a long way off, I’d not thought it through.
I love that you met your Dom here, stories like yours give me goosebumps and encourage me to carry on looking... I want to find my version of what you have found!
Thank you so much for your reply - it’s nice to online meet you! RiritheSub wrote: Hello
Firstly, don’t give up on your search. I met Him on this website. He lives in a different state so we are in an LDR (for now at least). Funny thing is, when I first joined I only wanted local Doms. Like you, I needed physical touch and thought LDR’s were stupid. I met up with a few Doms IRL who contacted me from this site and long story short, we were not fit for each other. The first Dom was a breathtaking, beautiful, black man who looked like the Ancient Greek sculptures. Where he exceeded my expectations on looks, he severely lacked in the personality department. He was an asshole. Second Dom, he had a great personality but we didn’t “click”. There was no connection and/or fire. Now onto my Dom, he is the perfect combination of both. Beautiful black man and great personality. Lol. Plus the added passion and fire 😉. I’ve never felt closer to someone who lives thousands of miles away from me. While he hasn’t touched me physically, he’s touched my heart in ways nobody else has. He knows me better than myself sometimes. He has put in the time and effort to understand me despite his demanding job. I am super fortunate to have ended up with such an amazing man and Dom. Some advice: If meeting someone local, meet up in a very public place WITH OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. Example: Starbucks coffee shop. When you two meet, ask to see their drivers/state license to verify their identity. If they refuse, get out of there ASAP. Give a trusted person your location details and if you have an iphone you could “share” your location so they have a live view of your location at all times. For users other than Apple there’s an app called Life360 which does the same thing. If it makes you feel better carry a pepper spray on you. You can buy ones that attach to your key ring. For not local: Ask to see pictures of them. FaceTime/Skype/whatever/ to verify those pictures. You need to see them LIVE. I’ve heard some horror stories about Doms and subs who send a pic of themselves and it was from 10 years ago when they weren’t overweight and grey, as soon as they did a live session the truth came out. If they refuse to send a pic and/or live sess then please move onto the next contestant. Of course listen to your gut. Your gut is an amazing organ and is almost always right. If you have a bad feeling about someone it’s cause some fishy stuff is happening. Wishing you the best of luck ❤️ |
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annabellestasia(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Dec 14, 2019
Oh my! What a dream of a woman to be able to keep a man engaged long after you’ve ended! 😍 She must have been an exceptional submissive!
tangledupinyou wrote: My first submissive came from a random meet in a tavern. When I was finally able to bed her, her obedience was impossible not to notice. Like a good lover, I went with the flow. At the end of our sessions she was always a quivering mass of post orgasmic jelly.
We eventually broke up due to differences in our goals, and even though I have not seen her since, that woman supplied me with years of solo fantasy material |
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