Villanelle(staff)
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8 years ago •
Apr 24, 2016
D/s & Co-Dependency
While discussing definitions of BDSM lifestyle in another thread, we touched on the intensity required to maintain a 24/7 D/s dynamic. How do you keep mentally fit, remain autonomous, and not develop an unhealthy co-dependency while immersed in a 24/7 relationship? I suspect this danger wouldn't exist solely for the submissive - a dominant who depends on the support, service, attention, affection, etc., of a submissive 24/7 could also become overly dependent or co-dependent. And of course, the emotional desire to be needed or even indispensable can have a huge appeal to those of us craving security and stability.
Surely being 'dependent' is something we all do in our relationships. So what's the difference between being dependent on those who love and support us and being 'co-dependent'? Psychology Today tackles it in this article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201412/codependent-or-simply-dependent-what-s-the-big-difference "Being codependent is hardly the same thing as simply being dependent. And in some ways it’s crucial that these two types of dependency be recognized as distinct (as too often hasn’t been the case). Not that codependent individuals aren’t dependent on others. But, paradoxically, they’re primarily dependent on the other person’s dependence on them. So what’s the peculiar dynamic operating in such relationships? For—as this post will illustrate—it’s not very healthy for either party." Thoughts? How do you feel about healthy levels of dependency in our D/s dynamics? And what do you do to make sure that both parties are not somehow crippled by extreme levels of emotional and mental involvement? |
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