Initiating the conversation in the “real-world”...

nylonspanker • Mar 6, 2020

It depends ..alot think they ar submissive just in the evening? and they are tired because of lifestyle. They are submissive due to weakness from being in control , which is fine but alot ave it wrong and are misguided.
A submissive is humble and energetic. her desire is to be shared and re formed, merged ..to be trusted. It is vulnerability. The dom if in bed may not even want to have sex to begin with, why not just be a voyeur, present in her presence. What is sex anyway? can sex be divided up int the day or week instead. Tantra , Taoism and romance.
I write vividly and without too much apprehension or editing ..we all can answer in different ways

Bunnie • Mar 6, 2020

“Is it possible to learn together?”

I think it depends what you’re wanting to “learn.” If it’s kink... I’d say absolutely... have some fun learning together. Safe Sane Consensual.

If it’s a Dominant/submissive dynamic, I think this depends entirely on the people... and begs the question... is this “learned?”

For myself personally... kink is kink. Do I enjoy having my ass smacked? Sure. What am I really seeking though? A man I can follow. Someone who will take charge and lead. Someone who has mastered himself.

Can we learn that together?
Would I feel safe with someone who is learning to navigate these aspects of himself from scratch?

For me personally, it’s unlikely.
Being the type of person I am, I rely heavily on the guidance of more experienced and knowledgeable persons than myself. That’s just me though. Perhaps if I had more confidence in my abilities things would be different... I don’t know.

As you can see... it really is an individual thing.

As to how to broach the topic. Being open and honest is my policy. If they run... clearly they’re not the right person. Communication is everything in this lifestyle... the best time to start is from the beginning.

Re: Initiating the conversation in the “real-world”...

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Mar 6, 2020

Anything is possible right? why second guess yourself?

I think the answer is *communicate* inch forward gradually, don't rush. Enjoy the ride

annabellestasia​(sub female) • Mar 6, 2020

I LOVE all of these responses and I took much advice, so thank you... My now feedback? A newbie needs an experienced hand to teach her/him. I just think in the art of learning together it doesn’t create the right dynamic...

nylonspanker • Mar 6, 2020

What if the Piano film is giving you the message that a skilled musician can create something magical other than music.

HisAngel • Mar 7, 2020

I recently had this conversation with my fiance after being together for a year and a half. I was terrified...even though I knew how understanding he is with everything else in my life. So why I thought this be different is beyond me.

Turned out great. He's doing research I'm helping as well as trying to learn even more. We're learning together in the aspect that I only have some online subbing experience and that was a long while back and he has zero BDSM experience.

Will it be easy, no. Is there a guarantee it'll work, no....but in my case I'm already fully invested in our relationship (almost 2 Years in) and no matter how much I desire to submit I will love him just as much if he decides it's not for him.

I'd suggest not waiting as long as I did to have that talk. I just got very blessed to have such an understanding man in my life.

Miki • Mar 7, 2020

edited out; wrong page!

DrKrall • Mar 7, 2020

“Is it possible to learn together?”

Of course it is.

With my first partner (i was 18 and she was my first, she was 15 [age of consent where I live, so perfectly legal] and had 1 sexual experience before) none of us new what we were doing. We discovered bondage and domination together and slowly found our own way. Naturally we would have reached our goal with guidance from more experienced people, but there wasn't really a goal for us at the time. There was love and curiosity. We didn't look for BDSM but for ways to pleasure ourselves and each other and slowly over time it transformed into a D/s relationship.

If You allready know what You want You will get there faster with an experienced partner to guide You, but sometimes the journey can be just as important and rewarding as reaching your destination. Don't let people tell You there are universal true rules regarding BDSM. What matters isn't protocol or rules, but the persons taking part of it all. Asking for advice is fine, but You must find your own path. In the end only You can decide if it is possible or not.

Good Luck!