Inner thought

Inner thought

curiousandconfused • Jan 29, 2020

Going through changes and my ladybits dont seem to work. I dont get warm and fuzzies. I dont get tingling sensations when i read. It is at the point to when i read, the only thing that gets me to tingling is the darkest, sadistic erotica.

Does this mean I am broken?
Does this mean I am a Masochist?

If this IS who I am, where can I go for answers? (Cuz therapy isnt working)

Duke Montefort​(dom male) • Jan 29, 2020

No, your maturing. The warm and fuzzies are suppose to fade over time as you mature, and settle into responsibility. I am going through something similar. Some folks change how they think or desire over time. Here are three things to ask yourself, but both sides require responsibility. Sadomasochism is a choice do I want to lead or follow? Do I want to be bound or to bind? Do I seek humility or to humble?

Then you have to develop a relationship with someone you trust to explore.

Hope that helps.

Lossofalme • Jan 29, 2020

Not broken, just maybe a human of a certain age and with certain life experiences? (Though perhaps add a check up to the therapy you're already doing? Because while perimenopause can knock you down, a thyroid issue or anemia can do it too. And there are options out there if the root cause is some sort of physical imbalance!)

For the other... You may be a masochist. Or you may be asexual. Or you might find that "hearing" erotica (like on Dipsea) or "seeing" sexual content (video or pictures) does more for you now than "reading" it (in a book). There's a lot to explore, and I feel like it's important to give yourself a LOT of grace while exploring... You're not broken, you're not wrong, you're not locked into one thing or another. I know it can be reassuring and affirming to find a word or label or title to "explain or define" who you are or what you like, but so much of the kink and BDSM world is finding your own twist.

You might be a masochist. And if you are...there are a million different ways to be a masochist. Connecting online or through your local real world community with a Top or Dom might be a step towards exploring that part of your life. The Cage has a personals section, Fet might point you towards your local group.

curiousandconfused • Jan 30, 2020

Thank you both for replying. I am a little surprised that my question only got 2 replies. The more information the better! I am like a sponge!