DaddyDrago(dom male){LilAmethys}
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5 years ago •
Mar 16, 2020
Safeword?
A query,
Is there ever a time a dominant should use a safeword? Is it exclusively used by the bottom/s type? Why or why not? |
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Online now
| bernalillo(sadist male) |
5 years ago •
Mar 16, 2020
Yes of course. When play needs to stop or something needs to change. No different from an s-type. Why? Cause d-types are humanish too.
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DrKrall
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5 years ago •
Mar 16, 2020
I'm not saying You are wrong, but those times when I've had to stop a session for some reason I have just stopped it. I don't need a word for it.
On the other hand if it is a group thing, and especially if there are other Doms involved a safeword might come in handy. Also: There are such a thing as masochistic Doms who might order their subs to tie them down and whip them (I've seen it once or twice). They might need a safeword if their sub gets out of hand. |
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simplylaura(sub female){djinni}
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5 years ago •
Mar 16, 2020
I've known bottoms who like to play harder than their tops but have negotiated harder scenes with them because the top had a safeword to stop. It looked more like a ramping down of the scene but they did use the actual word with the bottom when they'd had enough. I thought it was really responsible and a good way to expand boundaries together.
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DrWakko
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5 years ago •
Mar 17, 2020
A Top might use a safe word when a scene goes sideways. The safe word in a public play space might be used when the Top has a problem in the scene and will need help from from a DM.
Another reason why they use a safe word is to let their bottom know there is a problem and not to freak out, because they have the situation under control. If a Top just stops a scene and doesn't explain it to the bottom then the bottom could wonder why the scene stopped and freak out. I would think as a bottom you wouldn't want to know something is wrong while you are restrained or in bondage, but able to deal with the situation when you are untied and mobile. Stopping a scene with safe word could also give a bottom time to get into a better head space than to be rushed out of bondage to deal with a problem. Safe words are more common for bottoms to use because almost everything is happening to them and they are the ones that need to stop. If you are playing with a bottom no matter how often you play with them ALWAYS check in with them. Things will happen where a safe word is needed, however a good Top will check in with their bottom so safe words aren't needed since they are always checking on the status of their bottom. |
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DrKrall
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5 years ago •
Mar 17, 2020
simplylaura wrote: I've known bottoms who like to play harder than their tops but have negotiated harder scenes with them because the top had a safeword to stop. It looked more like a ramping down of the scene but they did use the actual word with the bottom when they'd had enough. I thought it was really responsible and a good way to expand boundaries together.
Sounds wise. I've never tried to expand boundaries in front of an audience. I prefer to keep well within both mine and the bottoms boundaries in front of an audience. Trying new stuff or pushing limits is something I prefer to do in private without distractions from others. |
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JohnBond(dom male){Kitten}
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5 years ago •
Mar 18, 2020
simplylaura wrote: I've known bottoms who like to play harder than their tops but have negotiated harder scenes with them because the top had a safeword to stop. It looked more like a ramping down of the scene but they did use the actual word with the bottom when they'd had enough. I thought it was really responsible and a good way to expand boundaries together.
At first I thought, 'you could just stop the scene' but I can definitely see the benefit of using your word to help your bottom quickly adjust their head space and understand why it is happening. I would think it could help prevent or reduce some severe drop from just abruptly ending an intense scene. Especially if it is a scene designed to push the top's limits |
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