Nervousness

Nervousness

Vye The Bbw​(sub female) • Mar 22, 2020

Am I the only one who gets nervous to share their Kinks or Fetishes with other people? Is there a way to be more open about what you like instead of just hoping that one day they'll want to try it?

StarkRost​(dom male) • Mar 22, 2020

VTB, you are on a website that is filled with those who love, live for, and crave various shades and intensities of kink. Some of the members have relatively tame interests, some have very extreme kinks.

The bottom line is that whether you blog about your kinks, ask questions on this forum about kinks, or have private conversations (chat and email) that include references to your kinks, not one person on this site should judge you. In the vanilla world, many of us might be judged harshly. That should not happen here. If you are exchanging emails with someone with the intent of establishing some form of relationship, my very strong belief is that you should be open and candid about your kinks very early in the process. They'll either say "Great!, we fit like a glove!" or "I respect that you need that but it's something I can't do with you - it's a hard limit for me." or "I haven't tried that but if it's important to you, I'm game."

None of those responses is judging you. Not all Doms are good partners for all subs and vice versa. Be open, be honest and find the people who you fit well with for conversations and personal relationships. If someone is a jerk, ignore them or block them. NO ONE on this site should judge. ALL on this site should welcome mature, adult conversations and opinions.

When my premium membership is approved, feel free to write me if you have any questions. No strings, just an open, non-judgmental mind.

WhiteRoses​(sub female) • Mar 22, 2020

You are not alone. Hell it's a private, personal subject. And I don't discuss it with anyone unless we have gotten to that point in a relationship. But then again my local community thinks I am odd. Oh well I am me not what anyone else thinks I should be.

That discussion takes trust and a building of communication. At least in my opinion. Even in a relationship, it is not always an easy topic to just jump into.

Perhaps the check lists would help break some of the ice? Is it something you want to talk about or do you feel pressured to discuss it?

WhiteRoses​(sub female) • Mar 22, 2020

And 2 opposite ends of the spectrum responses.

That was really interesting and I do see his point and quite frankly can agree with it from his perspective.

I am just personally looking at things from a different angle.

LaVieEnRose​(sub female)​{Kintsugi} • Mar 22, 2020

I agree with both ?

If you’re new to this (which I am) then sometimes coming to the community with certain questions isn’t a bad idea but there are so many years of knowledge and experience that it’d be a shame not to tap into it.

But also to me there is a difference between the questions you ask the community and what you actually want in the bedroom. I like to learn so if there is something I find interesting I’d ask but it doesn’t mean it’s something I’ve interest in putting into play. But I’m also trying to find my feet to not be so awkward about talking about that stuff with a partner, sometimes just blurting our is the best way to do it ??‍♀️

No Body​(dom male) • Mar 22, 2020

Vye here you can open up about anything that is in your heart or mind. We have limits (kids mostly) but for the most part we will talk about anything. I have seen people who had a fantasy to be tortured then killed and others who wanted to be raped. We talk openly and we do not judge. For the most part we know what it is like to be judged by others and this is a place you will not find those who do. Open minds and open hearts this is what the Cage is about. It has been many years since I felt at home and it is here that I have again. Do not hold back talk to us and let your heart be free.

RangersFairy • Mar 22, 2020

It took me years to be able to talk to my husband about desires, curiosities, and kinks. Partly because I didn't understand them myself. And for a really long time he had misconceptions about the lifestyle. Now, I don't hesitate.

On a site like this, you should feel free to share whatever you like. Because we are all at least in some form interested. Granted, there are varying tastes. But I would hope no one is disrespectful in any way toward anyone.

My motto for everything : As long as everyone involved consents and respects each other, it's no one's business.