Starting off on the right foot

Starting off on the right foot

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 23, 2020

Fetlife is filled with so many scammers and ubber Doms, dick picts and anyone transfering from the late craigslist classifieds. Everyone there seems to know exactly what they want while knowing nothing about the lifestyle.

This place seems different in some way. Maybe cause I've seen more people looking to explore and others from younger crowds, all looking to learn and explore. I havnt seen every aspect of this site and while it's good to post ads, there doesnt seem to be a place for those of us with more experience to lay out the lifestyle by our perspectives. After acquire a new slave and going over everything she never knew, it hits me that thebonly people inexperienced ministers like her have to look up to for advice and guidance are certain individuals that just want to dominat, get their thing, and give nothing back to the community.

So leaders of the site and the community, lend me your ears. Now is the time to lead the youths of this community into tomorow without the condition of dominance as we are the mentors of tomorow lifetyle.

Remlud​(sub female){Not Yet} • Mar 23, 2020

@House Talion
Just wanted to say thank you for writing this. As a person who is very, very new to exploring the BDSM lifestyle, I have found that indeed, FetLife was not the place for me to find what (whom) I am looking for and need. This website has been very kind thus far, and the few people that I have connected with for more than a "How are you," have been very enlightening and make me even more excited to continue down this path. This is where I am supposed to be. Just haven't found the right person yet, but I have hope that this site will provide me with that connection. I like many others, literally do not even know where to start. How to judge a good, true Dom from someone just wanted to get their kicks? I look forward to anything else you have to share about your life or experiences.
Stay safe and healthy <3
D

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Mar 23, 2020

The blogs is where you can (and many do) share your knowledge.

DrWakko • Mar 23, 2020

A kink website is what you make of it and each site has its pros and cons. The above mentioned site states it’s not meant to be a dating site, however it’s the best site out there to find events large and small.

This site is great for social because of the blogs, forum, personals and chat.

I’m willing to bet the amount of scammers and fakes are the same on all kink sites. A site that hosts a million people will have about the same percentages of scammers and fakes as a site with a thousand people.

And some can argue that this site hosts more scammers and fakes since (see other blogs and forums) that those who are into online only fall into the scammer and fake category.

Use the site how ever you need to use it. It’s the internet so keep and eye open for fakes. It’s usually easier to spot a fake in real life, but it can be done online. Just have fun when you are sitting behind the computer.

The original Her​(switch female) • Mar 24, 2020

Hello Talion, I'm Maji. Friend to friend? This place is definitely not some place that I'd recommend to my friends wanting to start into BDSM. Forgive me for mincing words, but it's a shitshow here... about 18 hours out of the day. At least for me.

The other 6 hours? I'm sleeping.

Don't get me wrong, I've made friends, but I've also made enemies. Not for what you'd think, too. I never insulted their mothers, never told them they weren't allowed to date two people at the same time, and never told them they were terrible looking. No, I told men that I wasn't interested in them because I had a dom. I'm studying to become a professional sexual therapist for my major in college, and I had people tell me that wasn't a real job. Sheesh, I wish I knew that before I signed up to become one.. I had subs coming at me because their dom liked my profile, and they thought i was trying to steal him, even though we never messaged.

This was all by people in the community with at least 10 years of experience, and over 30 years old.

I don't mean to play devil's advocate by any means, and I do agree that this site has the potential to be a lot more than it currently is. However, it's not the most welcoming environment for incoming youngsters (like myself... hah, right) and doesn't do a good job of showing how educational and professional everyone can be. There's a lot of improvements to keep in mind. I wish you good luck for getting your task force together, but I feel like for every good dom you get, 5 more off-brand Walmart versions come. Maybe I'm just a pessimist.

MeisterGerald​(dom male) • Mar 24, 2020

"However, it's not the most welcoming environment for incoming youngsters (like myself... hah, right) and doesn't do a good job of showing how educational and professional everyone can be. There's a lot of improvements to keep in mind. I wish you good luck for getting your task force together, but I feel like for every good dom you get, 5 more off-brand Walmart versions come. Maybe I'm just a pessimist."

Actually, I'd say 1:5 is incredibly optimistic. I'm not sure that the average user here understands or considers web metrics, or understands how Fet differs there.

The original Her​(switch female) • Mar 24, 2020

Oh my, you're completely right. I didn't want to come out of the gate saying though that for every 50 people that messaged me on here, I've had a decent conversation with one, however.

Greendrogan​(sub male) • Mar 24, 2020

As someone who is almost 60 years old and still relatively a newbie to the lifestyle I wish people would not just discount me because I am older. I also get it that I am not the most attractive person in the world and not the best piece of eye candy for showing off. But please don't make it seem that this is a lifestyle for only the young. Some of the best people I have meet, in the past, in the lifestyle was older than I was. While this may not be the best site on the internet, although I have not run across any yet, it does have a lot more to offer than others. And I do believe they here do take a more proactive approach to curbing scammers. But once again please do not discount older members. While we may not have much experience in the BDSM lifestyle we do have more experience with life in general and that can mean a lot some times.