MeekMarionette(sub female){Not collar}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
What if he's not into BDSM?
I have finally come to the conclusion that I am a full blown rope bunny sub. I want nothing more than for my long term partner to venture into this new lifestyle with me, but he doesn't seem to be taking the bait.
My partner is very much an alpha male. I would like for him to explore his dominant side more and dom me. But, he is stuck in the negative stereotypes of BDSM being about physical abuse. We have been together for a really long time. but I don't know what to do. I am feeling incomplete without being able to fully explore this side of me. How do I ease my partner into this or make him try. I can't just quit my relationship because he won't spank me or tie me up or deny me orgasms....can I? |
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Online now
Island girl(sub female){Yes owned.}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
Oh honey, only you can make that decision. I wish I had answers for you. The first question you have to ask is are you willing to open up to him about how you really feel? There are some books you could ask him to read, I don't know if he will do it or not. You can also try talking with him directly. The thing is, you can't act the part of a sub while doing this because that dynamic DOESN'T EXIST at this point. He wouldn't know what the heck you were doing. It has to be a discussion of equals. Hopefully, he can understand why/how this is important to you when you explain it to him and how it is not abuse.
Sometimes we can lead them to the light, and sometimes it just doesn't work. My ex tempted me into a relationship with him using bdsm, and then decided he didn't want that responsibility (after we were married, of course). It didn't work out in the end. |
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MeekMarionette(sub female){Not collar}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
@Island girl
I have done all the above...without acting submissive... I think the problem is he thinks its a fad I'm going through so is unwilling to take it seriously. I've had the direct talks, but nothing I do seems to sway him to want to at least TRY...but I thank you for your advice...and I guess I will keep TRYING until I don't feel like it anymore. |
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DrWakko
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
It might just be how you explain it to him. A rope bunny is a bottom who really likes to be tied up. This type of bottom likes to be put into bondage with rope. The only physical contact a rope bottom has with their rope top is the tops hand on the bottoms body when they are tying rope to it. Any other type of impact to the bottoms body is not part of rope and should be negotiated.
The sub part is a relationship dynamic. Which it sounds like you already have with him with out using the Dom/sub titles. If you want to expand your roles within your dynamic I suggest sitting down and talking to him and explaining what you need and want out of the relationship. Also you can go to the last page of my blog and find a ton of books on D/s and M/s relationships. DW |
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MeekMarionette(sub female){Not collar}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
@DrWakko
what is the name of your blog....would love to get some reading material to help me out |
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YaGottaBeKittenMe(sub female){Daddy}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
To find someone's blog, click on their name. That will take you to their profile. Scroll to the bottom and if they have a blog it will be listed there.
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realfreakydad(dom male){NO}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
Re: What if he's not into BDSM? MeekMarionette wrote: I have finally come to the conclusion that I am a full blown rope bunny sub. I want nothing more than for my long term partner to venture into this new lifestyle with me, but he doesn't seem to be taking the bait.
My partner is very much an alpha male. I would like for him to explore his dominant side more and dom me. But, he is stuck in the negative stereotypes of BDSM being about physical abuse. We have been together for a really long time. but I don't know what to do. I am feeling incomplete without being able to fully explore this side of me. How do I ease my partner into this or make him try. I can't just quit my relationship because he won't spank me or tie me up or deny me orgasms....can I? |
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realfreakydad(dom male){NO}
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4 years ago •
Mar 24, 2020
do you dare to let me show you in front of him so he can take over when I am done with you with no mercy?
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Island girl(sub female){Yes owned.}
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4 years ago •
Mar 28, 2020
Puhlease... that's the last thing their relationship needs... sigh.
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Zedland(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Mar 28, 2020
If you want to be sneaky I would suggest one of those adult toy kits to 'spice things up'. Then you have the ropes and blindfold and just have to try them. Then when he sees how you react to them he might be encouraged to try more, because there is nothing men love more than seeing their partner enthusiastic in the bedroom. After that you can introduce him to more advanced things. Provide references and drop hints without pushing.
You also have to keep in mind that in this day and age men might be hesitant to be "firm" with a woman. If for no other reason than the court of public opinion will never believe the 'she asked me to do it' defense. Just saying. |
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