skyrich(dom male){rottenbrat}
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4 years ago •
Mar 27, 2020
Reactance
Something Jolene said in another post has inspired me to write again.
Jolene wrote: I was offering my submission as a currency for his dominance. If I'm being "this" submissive, I expected him to be "that" dominant in return. When he wasn't or couldn't be, because of his schedule or because he simply didn't have the will or energy, I would become a harpy. I'd self-sabotage and act out in an attempt to get his reaction.
Standard disclaimer applies.'m writing this from the perspective and world-view of an alpha male hetero dominant, in a TPE 24/7 RL live-in relationship. If that's not your reality, that's OK. Your mileage may vary. I don't mean to disparage any other lifestyle and I'm not saying this is the "Right Way(tm)" for everyone, so please don't take it that way. Reactance occurs in almost all mammalian species, including humans. The theory goes like this: deny her a perceived "right", and she will attempt to use any and all means to restore said right. If all attempts fail, she will immediately violate some other protocol or try to re-establish something else that was taken away. Only after that will she accept the new reality. This behavior can readily be seen in toddlers. Take a toy away from a toddler, and put it behind some barrier. Meanwhile, put another toy near the kid. The toddler will try every effort to regain the toy which was taken, ignoring the new toy completely. Once all efforts have been exhausted, the kid will probably throw a temper tantrum and act out -- possibly throwing the new toy across the room. Only after all of this, the kid will start playing with the new toy, and accept the the old one is no longer available. In Jolene's case, she thought, perhaps subconsciously, and definitely incorrectly), that she had the "right" to his dominance. When it was denied her, she acted out. Only after accepting the reality did she settle into her situation. The odd thing about reactance is this: everyone has a background stress level that they put up with all day long. During the denial period of reactance the stress level increases rapidly, until the reacting phase where it starts to level off. Once the accepting phase hits, the stress level drops dramatically and becomes LOWER than the initial background stress-level. The person is then better able to handle normal day-to-day stress. Interestingly enough, the more submissive the person is, the faster they move through the phases. |
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