Marriage part 2

Marriage part 2

blue fluffy bunny​(masochist female) • Mar 29, 2020

So I really took some of yall advice about my first post I made and I Reapproached him about becoming part of the lifestyle and ...... he said would try but he had wanted to make two rules 1) no ass play for him ( which is do able) 2) he doesn’t “want to share me”. I know things take time specially after so long of asking him and he would try, and I’m happy about that but I want to explore everything and I know he’s not going to go for most things but how do I make him feel comfortable. I even told him we can do things together.

J o l l y​(sub female){Nillaw} • Mar 29, 2020

I think you should take baby steps here. You can't just immediately rush him into everything at once, ya know? Maybe after you guys try some minor stuff and eventually get to some more intense things, you could ask again about sharing if that's what you want? And keep encouraging him after the session is over? Talk about everything, ask him how he felt about it maybe? I'm still new myself so I'm not entirely sure but I feel like that's what I would do in your situation 😊. I'm happy he agreed with it at least!!! That's exciting!! Do you have any ideas of what you'd wanna try first?

blue fluffy bunny​(masochist female) • Mar 29, 2020

Yeah I’m trying to wait patiently lol. And I told him we should try going to munches so we can get a feel for it. And I suggest we buy toys nothing major you know. I just want to make sure he doesn’t change his mind because he has done that with things that make him uncomfortable.

House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 1, 2020

That depends on what he means by 'sharing you're. I've always told my wife I wanted a sub and I'd be fine doing all sorts of non-sexual things with them then come home hard n ready, but that's something she was unwilling to share for someone not of the lifestyle

blue fluffy bunny​(masochist female) • Apr 1, 2020

He doesn’t want me with any other males period. He doesn’t want me to have a male sub or be a sub to another male, but he okay with me being with a female and her joining us but I didn’t know how to tell him that he to soft for me last time I told him that convo didn’t end well.

MeekMarionette​(sub female){Not collar} • Apr 1, 2020

i agree with @LittleMiss
take things slow with him, ease him in, no over whelm him with everything you want to try at once cause its just gonna turn him off or make him more disinterested. i am in the same position as you, whee my partner has finally just agreed to try this lifestyle with me to see how it goes for him. but i know i can't rush or push him because he will more than likely withdraw completely. i gave my partner some reading material he was willing to read up on before trying anything, then there was a deeply, intense talk about our mutual wants, needs, expectations, and compromises.

so as much as you want to jump in with both feet and get going, have some patience and thank him for trying things out...they like it when you thank them

i wish you good luck and happy kink

TNS​(dom male) • Apr 1, 2020

Blue,

You posts are something that hits close to home. Poly/ open is not for everyone.hell, it's hard on people in a Poly/ open relationship. I wish there was a clear cut answer to help you with your problem...
the best that I can come up with is talk. i mean really talk. have a long exhausting conversation about what this means to you his needs your needs etc etc. you want to leave that conversation completely exposed and vulnerable. Tell him in detail all your fantasies every sick dark and the twisted things you want to do and have done to you. and pose that question to him have him think about it have him write it down. see where your interests overlie. (like a Venn Diagram) and start with the smallest thing on that list.

things to take from his side(whats going on in his mind)
! Penis size is everything to a man we take pride in it. and Idc if he has 2" or 20" deep down he feels insecure about his penis in some way( most men do)( we feel its the only thing we bring to the relationship) ALSO he is afraid of losing you. if some other man gives you pleasure in a way he can't you will crave it and leave him or cause an issue in the relationship.( this does not only mean sex it could be $$$ or a deep personal connection) Think about it this way how would you feel if your husband brought home random woman? on some level you may feel envy or hurt.

And of course a MFF 3some is the ultimate fantasy for any Hedro Male. it means he had the moves to get two girls to fuck him at the same time. it is an ego boost

you need to get him to be ok with you going out meeting new males or w/e. as long as you come back to him and have a special place in your heart and life (it should be easier at that point)

in conclusion
Talk
take baby steps build up to exploring
reward him( you do something in your circle give him one in his then do on in the middle)
Keep talking you need to treasure him and remind him that he is your master/soul mate etc


PS Don't let communication brake down. I have a few friends that lived the open lifestyle and they broke down(stopped showing love talked etc) ended up breaking up(well one couple is still together but it's ugly)

this is something that you need to jump in with both feet to shark-infested waters with bloody meat all over you( like Lady Gaga) and you don't know how to swim. 1 you will drown 2 your partner will help you through it.

(sorry this is all over the place ADHD and all)

Hope this helps.

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 1, 2020

As was said baby steps. I have seen the most timid of men become monsters once they go into it. A friend asked me about how to get his husband into the lifestyle. I told him to take a belt and while he is laying down pop his ass. It worked. The third one was the charm hard as a rock and wanting more. OK so it did not go as he thought it would but still...... Now your husband I know you need more but give him time and get toys to use he will either get into it or not and if not then it is all on you to what to do. Good luck.

blue fluffy bunny​(masochist female) • Apr 1, 2020

Thank you guys So much all the advice really help me out a lot 🥰

ThirtyFourPointFive • Apr 3, 2020

I don't blame him, I will not share either..