Feeling shameful

Feeling shameful

xCherriex​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2020

So I have been feeling things I'm sure some of the people here have felt at some point in time in relation to Bdsm or other aspects in your lifestyles so I've come here seeking advice.

Basically, I've been feeling ashamed for being into bdsm or looking into some of the things I've looked into. I feel abnormal for liking bondage, being an exhibitionist or wanting to be collared just to name a few. This has led to me feeling like I bring shame and disgrace to those around me even if they don't know I'm into this. For example, I read a few books into submission and others into ABDL a while back and I found myself going on twitter and looking at accounts of people who live such lifestyles and admiring them. I would spent hours on these people's twitter accounts which are similar to blogs really as they lay out their kinky lifestyle and I wanted it as well. But then I would feel guilty for wanting it and failing to be 'normal' person.

It is ridiculous really and this had been going on for a long time and it took quite a lot to post this. I am quite a loner irl and I spent most of my time in books and have few friends so I haven't had the chance to talk to anyone about this and its been eating me alive so I've decided to post it here instead.

I do hope I haven't offended anyone or implied anyone here is abnormal, however this is just what's been going on in my head and I've been feeling quite abnormal myself.

If anyone has any advice on what to do with such crippling thoughts then I would be grateful if you would be willing to share such advice. Furthermore, if anyone is feeling the same way, then I hope this post shows they are not alone with such thoughts.

Take care and stay safe btw

LingerieAndRope​(dom male) • Apr 9, 2020

I think the more you interact with and surround yourself with kinky people the accepted you'll feel.

But you aren't abnormal.

You just have some added colour to your sexuality which is awesome.

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 9, 2020

You are normal! There is nothing abnormal about you. Is it abnormal for a man to want to love another man (ok some will say yes but their elevators are stuck on the ground floor)? No. Is it abnormal to want to watch porn? No. Every human being has something that the like. Some it is religion food drinking manga or a million other things. I have a list of things and BDSM is #1. So you like the lifestyle I know people who like to live like it is 1950. so freaking what it is your life and you mind and body. do what you like! Go get a scoop of strawberry ice cream slap a scoop of chocolate on top and call it a chocolate cover strawberry and enjoy the fuck out of it! Tal

DarlingKitten • Apr 9, 2020

I am new to this lifestyle. I learned 6 yrs ago that I am submissive. I have moments of doubt but I know that this is who I am and if my friends or family can't accept that then that is their loss. This is a piece of me not everything. If strangers don't like it too bad. Please feel free to reach out to me if you want someone to help you at those times.

xCherriex​(sub female) • Apr 9, 2020

Thank you guys. This has been really helpful to me. I guess I'll try to interact with people in the community especially females as I'll feel we'll share similar conversations. I've just been feeling intimidated to start conversation with other females (Idk why really) but I'll try and listen to your advice. Again, thank you very much

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 9, 2020

Go into the chat room say hi and see how it goes. We don't bite hard and we are some what tame I guess ... maybe .... kinda

J o l l y​(sub female){Nillaw♡} • Apr 10, 2020

I struggle with this myself as I'm still new as well. And also because of personal reasons. But I agree with SR. The chatrooms really help me to open up. It's full of very supportive people . Also making friends with other subs can help.

Bishop​(dom male) • Apr 10, 2020

If I may ask a question, Who told you you were not normal? There is a reason I ask this. Our society, the culture we live in, has by some God given decree taken it upon itself to decide or everyone what is "normal" or "ok" when it comes to sexuality (among other things). My parents decided to instill in me what was acceptable and not acceptable (read: they instilled in me what was THEIR version of what was acceptable and not acceptable). In time, I learned that what was acceptable for them is not necessarily acceptable to me. There are many people on this site who have a wide variety of sexual proclivities...some they can't even mention on this website. I struggle with myself over my needs and proclivities as I'm sure many do. But, no one has the right or ability to tell you, or anyone else for that matter, that you are normal or ok. To do so would mean that they have taken it upon themselves to decide for you what is right, acceptable, normal, and ok. You and you alone can answer for yourself, your desires, and only you can find the acceptance you need to resolve what battles you have within (What, did you think I would say, "Only you can prevent forest fires."?) It's like society telling us that vanilla ice cream is our favorite. Why, only because they think it should be? What if I like Chocolate or Butter Pecan? Hell, what if I don't like ice cream at all? It's great to blog and share your thoughts and feelings, it's extremely cathartic. It's great to share your struggles and to seek out like minded people whom you share things in common...But, look within for the resolution, not from the outside. Remember, only you can decide what is normal for you.