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SexyKittyKat
1 month ago • 04/12/2020 10:07 pm

Slave or Submissive

SexyKittyKat • 04/12/2020 10:07 pm
I am relatively new to this lifestyle. I have read many articles and blogs on both being a submissive and that of a slave.

My question is this:

If you have experienced “BOTH” what was the difference for you? Which do you prefer?

If you are a Dominant: Have you had both a submissive and a slave? Which would you prefer? How were they different?

Thank you for sharing your experiences.
August2562​(dom male)
1 month ago • 04/12/2020 10:18 pm
August2562​(dom male) • 04/12/2020 10:18 pm
I have had both, and to me
The submissive is still living her life and has many more choices, she surrenders herself and submits her will but while still having some control over her life and only wanting or needing guild lines and structure.

The slave life style tends to render her completely surrendered and every minute of every day is given to service and she surrenders her life and her will to give full service to her Master..,

That’s how I see it.
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat}
1 month ago • 04/12/2020 10:28 pm
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • 04/12/2020 10:28 pm
Hello Kitty, (sorry, I couldn't resist)

Since you're new, I'm going to shamelessly self-promote and point you to some articles I've written here on The Cage:
https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=2417 * Responsibility *
https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=2420 * Commitment *
https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=2425 * The Journey *

Please do read them, including the comments of others. I believe that they will be very helpful to you; that they will help you avoid certain pitfalls and dangers.

I've had a sub, and a slave, (some of that story is told in "The Journey"). For myself, it's not a matter of preference, per se. I have very much enjoyed my relationships with both.

What's the difference? A slave is a highly committed sub. The level of trust required for this is astronomical, and shouldn't be entered into lightly, nor trivially. She is literally a slave, held by chains far stronger than steel. Her enslavement is not external, it's not orders, not rope, not handcuffs, and certainly not the law. No, it's an internalized enslavement. She has made a commitment so deep and so complete that it is almost impossible for her to break it by herself. This doesn't happen overnight -- but over a long time of proven trust, and loving care by her master. She learns to trust him in small, easy things. This allows her to broaden her trust into unknown territory. With each extension of trust, and the follow through on his part, she learns that she is safe with him, and that she can continue to extend and broaden her trust, and therefore her commitment.

You see, no one is born a slave. A slave always starts out as a sub.
    The most loved post in topic
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat}
1 month ago • 04/12/2020 10:39 pm
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • 04/12/2020 10:39 pm
August2562 wrote:
The slave life style tends to render her completely surrendered and every minute of every day is given to service and she surrenders her life and her will to give full service to her Master.


This is well-said, but I would clarify that this doesn't mean she cannot have a job or a career. As her master, I not only encouraged my girl to get a job, I expected it. And I required her to be diligent in her work, and to have a high work ethic. Her work ethics reflected on me. Her service as, a medical professional, to the community was service to me by extension. I expected, and required her for far more than just sexual service, (not that I believe that is what you were implying, but I wanted to make the point clear.)

But yes, she [i]willingly and knowingly[i] surrenders her will to him over time.

--Rich
Fate
1 month ago • 04/12/2020 11:01 pm
Fate • 04/12/2020 11:01 pm
I feel like Master/slave is simply D/s on steroids. icon_smile.gif

Welcome!
SexyKittyKat
1 month ago • 04/12/2020 11:22 pm
SexyKittyKat • 04/12/2020 11:22 pm
Thank you for your insight. I hope more will drop in and voice their experiences.

@Rich I will definitely go and read those blogs. Thank you for sharing with me.
Soulfire​(sub female){Owned}
1 month ago • 04/13/2020 5:19 am
Soulfire​(sub female){Owned} • 04/13/2020 5:19 am
To kind of tail onto her questions.
Is there an in between?
I feel so like I am leaning towards that total dependence but ... right now it’s tough because we are also both married to other people.... changing as I type for me. (Finally done) but I digress...
I guess I’m wondering if it’s still my sub mentality but feeling so overwhelmed and absolutely dependent right now on him and his strength?
Or am I making myself feel this way because I just want to totally give myself up to him and just give up all control?

Or maybe I’m just going crazy...?
MasterRon​(dom male)
1 month ago • 04/13/2020 6:28 am
MasterRon​(dom male) • 04/13/2020 6:28 am
Master/slave dynamic is a much more stricter version of Dom/sub dynamic. As already mentioned before, almost all M/s starts off as D/s and slowly progresses towards M/s as time passes and both get comfortable with one another and eventually the trust required between the M and s is developed. It takes a lot of time for someone to let of control completely to the extent required by M/s dynamic.

As to what I prefer, I prefer M/s and it's because I love having the control and the structure it provides (not just to the slave but to the Master also) and I thrive when I take on more responsibility in general. So the M/s dynamic is just suited perfectly to how I am wired as a person.

@Soulfire, you are definitely not going crazy. And yes there is always something in between. It's a journey from D/s to M/s and it's absolutely okay if you want to get off somewhere in the middle. 😊
Talisa​(sub female)
1 month ago • 04/13/2020 7:07 am
Talisa​(sub female) • 04/13/2020 7:07 am
I am a sub, with a slave heart. I have been in D/s relationships where I lived with my Dom and our dynamic was in every facet of our lives, both in and out of the bedroom. However... I own a home, run my own business, and raise children (I share custody of two teenage boys). Even though my Dom would direct and guide me in all matters regarding my home, business, and family, I still retained the freedom to make my own decisions so should I choose. Had this relationship progressed in to a long term commitment and meshing of home and finances, after my children had left, then it could have easily evolved into M/s.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it not only depends on the dynamic with your D-type, but also your circumstances. I totally agree with those who said most M/s relationships start out as D/s, because it takes time to get to that level of trust and commitment. I have been single for a little while now, so everyone Dom I meet I am also evaluating as potential Master down the road, but like I said it always depends on the dynamic between the two people (or three or four..). There are many masters out there who think of a slave as, to use a common term, a doormat. And that's ok, because there are many slaves who choose to be one. But for me, who brings quite a bit to the relationship, and therefore quite a bit to give up, this all takes time and patience and understanding. Labels are just words, so don't let one person's ideal define who you are and want to be.

-t
SexyKittyKat
1 month ago • 04/13/2020 8:10 am
SexyKittyKat • 04/13/2020 8:10 am
Thank you all so much for your input. I know this is going to be an incredible journey. Your comments make you a wonderful part of that journey.