Invisible people

Invisible people

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 15, 2020

i'm fairly new to this site, but not new to the online process of 'dating' or meeting people. One of the things that i find frustrating to the aforementioned purpose and process of these types of sites is what i call, for lack of a better term: "invisible people."

By "invisible" i mean people who approach you having written little or no profile, do not seem to have read what you have written in yours, and immediately put the ball in your court for self disclosure, without making any effort to self disclose. i've noticed in the D/s community that both sides seem to have their arguments for why the other side is more responsible for this process (laughing).

Either way, apparent lack of self awareness, and/or lack of self disclosure or the skill set to articulate about oneself, doesn't seem to be unique to Dom's or subs.

Thoughts?

No Body​(dom male) • Apr 15, 2020

Everywhere you go there are "players" and posers. In the life so many more because they want to
1) Play on your needs and desires
2) Play you for what they think is a good time
3) Just flat out play you for what ever will get them off

I hate these people and nothing gets my blood to boil faster than them ordering a sub they do not know around. Jumping into chat and telling them what they want and to bow to them.
There is nothing we can do as they don't care and disappear after doing it.

Then as you said are the ones with the half profiles. I understand if your new or have issues where being here could be used against you but put something up and try and tell us more about you and what your needing and looking for. That's my rant for the day. Tal

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 15, 2020

"Then as you said are the ones with the half profiles. I understand if your new or have issues where being here could be used against you but put something up and try and tell us more about you and what your needing and looking for. That's my rant for the day. Tal"

Thank you for your response, i think that's a good point, i suppose some are here on the DL, but if they're going to be here, they don't have to post pics or use their real name. Idk, i think there is little cause for not putting anything in a profile. And being on the DL doesn't preclude one from reading another persons profile and responding to what they have already written vs starting from scratch with a question like: "tell me about your self." That takes no effort to ask, no investment. i think there are some people who really just don't understand how to communicate. Some act as though one should read minds or already know them, just by being here or saying a simple sentence. Sorry, i obviously never lack for words (laughing at self)

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Apr 16, 2020

I get this on Facebook all the time; friend requests from guys that don't have any information in their profiles but pictures and where they live. All I can figure is that they found my pictures elsewhere on the internet, or they are just trolling. Or the random, "So, what are you doing?" All I can think is, "I'm working, fuck face! Leave me alone! Has that pickup line worked for you in the past? What part of "in a relationship" don't you understand?" Sigh. Rant over.

Everyone here has been nice. I'm more than up for a chat if there's a specific topic to discuss. Chatting to relieve someone's boredom, that's another thing. I don't have time for that. I haven't used my real name here, true. I don't know if it matters or not. I default to not doing that in general.

Frankly, if someone locally wants to talk about me being kinky, they had better be ready for the whole thing. We're a triad living together and running a company in a small town. Everyone here knows who we are and I think they just assume we're Mormons. As far as I'm concerned, if you live on the Big Island, there's a good chance you're eccentric, to begin with.

Sammi Babi UwU​(sub female) • Apr 16, 2020

This is something I've noticed too and has made me wonder.

If you're on a site for like minded people. It's always best to disclose what you're interested in so you can make friends or spark up good conversation.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 16, 2020

[quote=]) ....All I can think is, "I'm working, fuck face! Leave me alone! Has that pickup line worked for you in the past? What part of "in a relationship" don't you understand?"
Everyone here knows who we are and I think they just assume we're Mormons.[/quote]

LMAO. Thanks for your openness, i was afraid to be that blunt, glad i'm not alone.

The people who really get me are the ones who make virtually no effort whatsoever towards connection/relationship, but seem to still expect it's going to happen?

i can honestly imagine many (or at lease some?) of the people who have contacted me on sites with "sup" or "tell me about yourself" or the obsequious: "Please tell me about yourself," genuinely think they have put out a legitimate effort? Part of me wants to respond to everyone for that reason, it's hard for me to believe that's all there is. But then after being burned by people who conversing with was like pulling teeth, i started checking profiles first.

i've found that an empty profile + an empty intro= a one sided effort. Not the makings of connection or relationship. But part of the emotion one might read in my original post is, i always seem to want to think better of people and seem to always imagine reasons to argue in their favor... but it's emotional on my part, reason and experience has not borne it out. So i, sadly often, stick with trying to interact with people who put their self out there vs triying to give substance to the invisible. Relationship really is between two participants making, hopefully, something close to equal effort.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 16, 2020

Right? Do you find yourself wondering what they must be thinking? Sometimes i think these are people who just look at and respond to pictures? But then, more often than not it seems, they have no picture either?

i tend to imagine a few categories, but can never nail it down because... they're invisible lol.
1. The person is uber shy.
2. They legitimately do not know how to self disclose or respond to someone who has.
3. They are immature and want someone else to do all the work.
4. WTF?

Feel free to add to the list? What thoughts or feelings run through other peoples minds when they are contacted by or see a profile of virtually invisible people?

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Apr 17, 2020

1. They are married/in a relationship
2. They are hoping for pics
3. They are short on social skills

Really, I can't think of a reason I would find it acceptable to move forward with any kind of response. Most of the time it means I've been cyber-stalked and that's just creepy. The most creepy was when a man came up to me and told me how sexy my movies were AND HE WAS WORKING A COUPLE DOORS DOWN FROM WHERE I DID. That was seriously not okay. Luckily, I think he realized how much he rattled me and left me alone.

House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 17, 2020

Anyone that's shows a lack of care for their own profile upkeep is commonly not trusted by any means. Even the newest newb would do something