A few things that a new submissive should know

A few things that a new submissive should know

Samsea​(dom male) • May 5, 2020

The best advice I can give to a new Submissive to this site, (it's one of the best) or any site come to that. Is to ask ‘questions’ just ask as many questions as you want. As a ‘newbie’ you will be bombarded from day one, it’s both flattering and exciting and you have to be on your guard from the very first message.
Remember it’s a bit like going to a dance, no guy is never going to get to step onto the dance floor with you unless ‘you say YES’.
The power is with you and only you, not with him/her as you have the power to say YES and to say NO. (you can say no thank you) but if it’s no then it’s still a no.

And definitely no pictures, (would you trust a total stranger with your cheque book?) even if he sends you one first, plus if he sends you a picture of his cock, that will tell you where his brains are.
If anyone demands that you call them Sir, Master or Daddy etc. then he is none of those as only you can bestow the title of your choosing on another which has to be earned, not demanded as a right.

BUT… and there is always a but, if you find the right one after chatting for a couple of months, not two days… It’s not all doom and gloom as it can be the most magical experience you can ever have. It’s a bit like in vanilla life there are plenty of frogs, (Frogs are nice, some of the guys are not so nice) so avoid the frogs and toads if you are very lucky you will find the one.
Your One, that’s all you need…
Stay Safe
Sam

Abyssful​(sub female) • May 5, 2020

It is ok to say no. If fact, you should say no when you mean no. Boundaries are important.

Have limits. It is hot to some people to be "no limits" but everyone has limits and should. It is healthy, safe.

Just Jessy​(switch gender queer){Owned} • May 5, 2020

THANK YOU for this post! My friend who is a male dom tells this to girls all the time because when they come in new and excited, they don't necessarily know what to do or expect. so THANK YOU!

Curious Raven​(other female) • May 5, 2020

Well said! I would add, from my very limited experience, that you should always remember that the online context creates numerous opportunities for people who are looking to exploit your vulnerability. You only hear from the person on weekdays, never evening or weekend? After much texting, they don’t want to share their phone number? They want you to contact another Dom to get special training? These are definitely red flags. There is at least one person on this website who routinely contacts new female subs, and although he describes himself as single, is actually married. I would say learn as much as you can about BDSM from reputable sources. Go to munches when that becomes a possibility. And take all the time you need to vet someone. Always trust your instincts!!

Samsea​(dom male) • May 5, 2020

Thank you Ravenand Momma A...
Wise words from you both..
Sam

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • May 5, 2020

Talk to more subs than Doms if you are new. They are an amazing source of information and are not looking to exploit (usually) fellow subs.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 6, 2020

Submitting who you are to a person is not the same as changing who you are for a person.

littleone64​(sub female){owned} • May 6, 2020

Wow,
Thank ALL of you for this post!!! Great words of wisdom posted here.

Dom shopping

rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich} • May 7, 2020

Nice reminder, and one that can't be overstated. Since this is online, you have the ultimate control in the end. I won't restate a bunch of what has already been said but I will caution any newcomers, that the first person to contact you is PROBABLY NOT going to be someone you want to hang your hat on. I won't speak in absolutes because there are exceptions, but they are RARE and most likely not going to happen for most. Be smart, and if it looks like a fish, acts like a fish, and smells like a fish..... It's probably a fish.

The other thing I see a lot of is subs coming on the site with the attitude of "dom shopping". Is it just me or do others see this? Dom shopping happens when someone new comes in with no understanding of themselves and how they operate. You just look at a dom as a way to have a need met instead of seeing the person before you. If they don't meet the need you think you have then you move on to the next window display until you see something you like..... I HATE this method.
"Why it this important RB? I thought we were talking about new subs?"
If a new sub doesn't understand how they as an individual will react in new situations they end up setting themselves up for major disappointment.