Dom Drop

Dom Drop

AngelBunny • May 5, 2020

I would like to know more about Dom Drop. I would appreciate any Dom/Domme sharing what it is like for them and what seems to help. What can your sub do to help?

No Body​(dom male) • May 5, 2020

To be honest I did not know this was even a thing till a couple weeks ago when it happened. I have to be honest to a point to explain this so here goes. I was talking with a very special woman and it got intense on both ends and yes it was hot. I for the first time in years did not hold back and a part of me I thought was gone woke up and took over. I have no idea where I was or even if you could call it another level. It was something I never felt before and it was so wonderful. The only problem was after I was drained in so many ways. I have never felt either end of this before and I would love it again but not sure if it can be done. Being able to let go was great and what a high it was but not the crash after. I don't know if she could have helped it was so fast. I am told I got a taste of what happens to a junkie when the comes off a high hard.

AngelBunny • May 6, 2020

@SR13,

Thank you for sharing! I hope you get to experience Dom space again. How to get to Dom Space might be another question to pose for the forum! When you crashed, did you just need to relax and have time for yourself?

Sinity​(dom female) • May 6, 2020

I have experienced Dom drop once or twice. It is generally after a high emotion session that I indulged in my sadism.

I felt exhausted in every way and horribly guilty for the things I had done, though they were consented to and enjoyed. It took a lot of time to feel ok with dominating again for me after Dom drop.

AngelBunny • May 6, 2020

@Sinity,

I appreciate you sharing your experience with Dom drop. I'm glad you were able to work through it. It has occurred to me be based on your feedback, Dom space/drop is a mirror image of subspace/drop. My little experience with subspace/drop was I achieved subspace with bondage and masochism and when I dropped I felt depressed, lethargic, and ashamed of what I had allowed to happen. I anxiously needed reassurance from the Dom that they did care about me. According to what you have stated, Dom space can happen through sadism, and Dom drop is feeling drained and guilt over what you did. That's just a hypothesis. I'm sure there are different experiences on both sides. I hope to hear more from other Doms.

skyrich​(dom male)​{rottenbrat} • May 6, 2020

Dom/Sub spaces can be entered through by pain, (sado-masochism), but that isn't the only avenue.

For me, whenever things are going according to plan and everything is right and in its proper place, that puts me into my Domspace. An example: my first skydive. The level of focus required was intense, the adrenaline rush was over the top. I hit Domspace hard. Once I was on the ground, after a perfect landing*, I experienced Domdrop. I had nothing left. I dropped to my knees and then my face hit the ground. I was done. I could barely speak -- all I knew was... I wanted MORE. I went home that night, recovered and came back for more. I also experience Domspace at work, when my algorithms are spot on and weeks of effort payoff.

Pain isn't always the way... But *effort* always is. Nothing put in? Nothing's gonna come out. TANSTAAFL**

I still hit Domspace with almost every skydive. But the drop now happens after the day is done, and I'm through jumping. Even then, it doesn't always happen.

Similarly, subdrop can happen with any sub that's had enough of the cruelties of life, e.g. things going badly at work. When her nervous system is just too cluttered to take any more input, subdrop can occur.

The fact is, we can't always be in dom/sub space, and we can't always be in dom/sub drop; life has a way of balancing things out. "For everything there is an equal and opposite."

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* I can't take credit for the perfect landing. My skydiving instructor was telling me what to do over the radio.

** TANSTAAFL: There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch

Crow​(dom male) • May 6, 2020

In my opinion, It is the price we pay for wanting what we want. It is taxing, emotionally and physically. The physical part was easy to deal with as with passage of time body recuperates, emotionally i was only able to move on once I was able to objectively define, identify and accept the source of my drop. Which in my case was the gravity of responsibility a Dom takes on. After all I am the one in control. I am the one who had willfully consented and desired these acts. Having morality grounded in subjectivity of reality helped.

AngelBunny • May 6, 2020

@Rich,

Your post reminded me of what I had read previously about Dom space. Someone had described it as being in the state of flow. In positive psychology, there is this concept of Flow States or Optimal Experience https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology). I just found an article that when in the Flow State, many neurochemicals are released such as dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, etc. Perhaps Dom space is an intense Flow state which would explain the feeling of coming off a drug when there is Dom drop. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-playing-field/201402/flow-states-and-creativity

I think subspace can happen whenever a sub feels pleasure submitting or serving in any compacity.

You do make a good point, "For everything there is an equal and opposite."

P.S. I hope you didn't hit your face too hard.

AngelBunny • May 6, 2020

@Crow,

I appreciate your feedback. I have wondered about the immense responsibility a Dom takes on when they have a sub. One of the reasons I know I'm not wired to be a Domme is because it would be too draining for me. I'm glad you were able to recognize what was happening and that it helped.

I'm not quite understanding your statement "Having morality grounded in subjectivity of reality helped," do you mind explaining further?

skyrich​(dom male)​{rottenbrat} • May 6, 2020

@AngelBunny

Yes, Domspace is a kind of Flow State, but so is subspace.

Mark Gungor describes the differences between male and female brains in this youtube video:

It's worth the watch. Female brains have "everything connected to everything". Subspace occurs, (at least in females), when this breaks down, and nothing is connected to anything for a short time. It's a very foreign space for most females, because all of the inner conversations, turmoil, "chatter" disappears.

I think it's easier for men to get into Domspace than for women to enter subspace, because we naturally focus and drive ourselves into it. But, not being a woman, I could be wrong.

--Rich

PS: I was already on my knees at that point, so falling on my face into the grass wasn't painful.

In skydiving they teach us the PLF: Parachute Landing Fall. Basically, it's a drop and roll to spill out the momentum. What I did is more properly termed an FKF: Feet Knees Face.