Bunnie
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3 years ago •
May 28, 2020
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' ‘Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!' A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, ‘Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.’ |
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Online now
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Bunnie
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3 years ago •
May 28, 2020
An old blind cowboy strolls into a bar one day. Without knowing it he has actually strolled into an all girl biker bar by mistake.
He wanders over to a bar stool and asks the bartender for a shot of Jack Daniels. He sits there for a while and calls out to the bartender. “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” At that point the entire bar fell deadly silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. ‘Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy…. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times’ |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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3 years ago •
May 28, 2020
A man goes to doctors complaining of bad stomach ache and pain in his arse..Doctor says take yer undies off and bend over...
Doc has a look and starts pulling all these $5 and $10 notes and also a bit of loose change from his rear.. The man says could you count it for me doc. The doctor counts it and tells him there's $1.999 …The man looks at the doctor and says '' I knew I wasn't feeling too grand'' |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. –I said sure and gave him a glass of water.
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Bunnie
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
Lol!
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
I watched a Mexican man doing a magic trick.
He said “uno, dos,” then disappeared without a trace |
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Azzabackam(switch male){PawPawGirl}
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
Guess where I keep all my dad jokes.
In a dad-a-base. |
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Dellydoodah(neither female)
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
I hate how funerals I attend are always at 9 a.m. – I’m not really a mourning person
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Road Toad
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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Road Toad
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3 years ago •
May 29, 2020
The big bad wolf said to little red riding hood "unbutton your blouse and let me suck your tits" fuck off she replied as she tugged down her pantie's "eat me like the fuckin book says"
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