Sexual health

Sexual health

Justataste​(sub female) • May 25, 2020

Having limited experience and not really having been a part of the wider "community" I wondered if there was some unwritten assumption that all involved keep themselves clean and free of disease? Am I being gauche asking if someone's previous or new play partner is clean? Perhaps as a health professional I am being too clinical?
I'm not talking open events where this may be some sort of requirement (?) But more intimate and potentially longer term arrangements.

House Talion​(dom male) • May 25, 2020

Trust and consent are consistent for all. Depending on what you're doing certainly depends on what would be done to stay clean and disease free

Bo Peep​(sub female) • May 25, 2020

I think it's fair to say you should never assume someone is clean... if you're unsure, ask 😊

FearlessBrat​(sub female){H.PL.} • May 26, 2020

The best policy is to always test...and even if both parties are clean to use protection regardless if it is for longer shorter term.
Why test? Becasue not always an STI will show on initial test....sometimes immunity can suppress it as undetectable and later the infection can become active. Also, as health professional I am sure you are aware that STI such as HPV(cervical cancer culprit) can be only tested in women. Men in the US cannot be tested for it.

Re: Sexual health

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 26, 2020

This reads to me like you are talking open relationship? I.e., you are asking if a current partner ("someone") if their "...previous or new play partner is clean?"

i don't think it's gauche to want to protect yourself from STI's, but that has to be balanced with realism, eh? If i read you right, you are extending trust to your partners partners and i don't know how realistic that is. Because unless you see the actual test results and have been around that person 24/7 since the test results, trust is being extended. i too am a healthcare professional and do thousands of assessments, and lying is a given, so subjective info is suspect.

Justataste​(sub female) • May 26, 2020

@tallslenderguy yes it seems a little harsh, but true.
Thankyou all for your input, it has been helpful

Bunnie • May 26, 2020

My motto is that some things when done, can’t be undone.

I ask for us both to be tested before anything sexual will occur. Always have when meeting potential partners... always will. I had a pretty promiscuous youth and managed to come through unscathed, so I fear that perhaps I may have used up all my luck lol.

Where it can get tricky is in poly situations. You all need to be on the same page as to the “rules” around new partners.

I agree with @ tallslenderguy though, although it never hurts to be aware, trust definitely does end up having to be the element behind it all.

SirZeus​(dom male) • May 26, 2020

Trust but verfy 👍🏽 Or as they say in Ireland to be sure to sure not that I am from Ireland mind you

WILHELM{AFTER APPR} • Nov 15, 2020

ABSOLUTELY, WHOLE-HEARTEDLY AGREE 100%!!!

WILHELM

Justataste​(sub female) • Nov 15, 2020

I reply again, one HSV-2+ diagnosis later.
It is not routinely tested for. When you ask someone if they're free of STIs and they say 'yes, chances are they think they've been tested for everything but haven't been tested for herpes.
It's apparently surprisingly common, and is generally considered to have only mild physical effects..

A sudden unexpected diagnosis however can have a severe emotional impact. The stigma of having a sexually transmitted disease, the knowledge that this disease will be with you for the rest of your life, that you can potentially infect any future sexual partner can be devastating.

But devastation turns to acceptance, because what else can you do....
And it is an opportunity to educate others, to break down the stigma and to model open, honest behaviour.