Periodic issue with bystanders in my 24/7 Lifestyle relationship

Periodic issue with bystanders in my 24/7 Lifestyle relation

Switch key​(switch female) • Jun 2, 2020

I have been in my current M/s relationship for a half a year. It is the first relationship I have been in where I am the "s." I enjoy a little humiliation from my Master and sometimes he will tease me for a mishap and laugh in public. I enjoy the attention from him and the fact he is flirting and his sadistic smile. He is Never abusive in any way.

This issue arises when there is the occasional jackass who adds to his remark or teasing thinking he is putting me down. These people don't understand that he is flirting and that I expect and desire him to tease me from time to time. They don't understand that they are laughing at someone else's inside joke. My Master is an alpha male and people often tend to want to impress him. When they laugh at me thinking they are scoring a point with him, it pisses me off. Out of respect for my Master I typically ignore anyone else laughing at me when we are spending time together. I feel that would steal the moment. I want to address this. Does anyone know a tactful and witty way in which I could do this? Does anyone feel he should address it? His only response when I've mentioned this is that those people aren't important to him so he doesn't care. Part of me can't help but feel it is his job to defend me if he expects me to "act like a lady" and"not complain." Ideas? Opinions?

Thanks

MalakaiY​(dom male) • Jun 2, 2020

Every relationship is a bit different, so take my opinions/advice with a grain of salt.

I'm not sure why you were pissed off, but here are my two guesses.
Guess One: You don't think he takes you seriously.
My question is that: Does it bother you that others were laughing, or does it bother you that he didn't defend you when others laughed with him?
If it's the former, see Guess Two.
If it's the latter, talk to him about what you're thinking and how you're feeling.
I can't tell the dynamic of your relationship from a single post, but you prefer him to "defend" or "rescue" you more, let him know.

Guess Two: You have a problem with public humiliation.
Some girls don't like others or outsiders to know about their lifestyles, or just want to keep public/private life separate.
If this is the case for you, again, I would suggest talking to him.
I used to date such girls, and I usually just add a "Na. I'm just teasing her" after making fun of her, which helped a lot.

You said you talked with him about this, but I'm unsure of what you said, or of the circumstances.
Also, it's not "complaining" to talk to your master about something that is actually bothering you.
I would suggest when you two are relaxing, ask him "Can I ask you for something?".
Then, tell him that this is something that has been bothering you, which seems to be true if you're taking the time to post it on this forum.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 2, 2020

Might be a good idea to ask your Master about this, he might enjoy watching you only being submisive to him.

Could be a good idea to laugh with them

Bunnie • Jun 2, 2020

I would share with him what you’ve written here. Perhaps he doesn’t quite understand the depth of which this is impacting you (?).

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jun 2, 2020

I echo what the others have said and even recently wrote a "Letter to Doms with collars" on the very topic of 'defending' their subs from others. It was regarding online collars but the principle could likely be applied here.

For myself, I find it sexy to watch a Dom get all bristled and growly in the defense if their property. We gifted it to you and we want to see you protect it.

I do not like humiliation play, but, placing myself in YOUR shoes, I am proud to see you 'ignore' the bystanders as best as you can. Here is the point tho, which may be what you may be feeling....

You agreed to submit to HIS humiliation...not theirs. Are you allowed to spin your head around and confront the bystanders yourself?

" Hey, Asshole, I'm with him and not you so HE is allowed to laugh at me...YOU are not. Butt out and kindly take your ass elsewhere."

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 2, 2020

At work so limited time, but ditto Bunnie.
When you tell Him, his response was it doesn’t bother Him. It seems He is missing the point, it bothers you.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jun 2, 2020

You and him have no right to include others that have not given consent in your dynamic.

Just to give you a heads up we have been M/s 24/7 for 19 years.


You have no idea who you are triggering by doing this behavior in public.


What you are doing is implicitly non consensual.

What you are doing goes against the basic rules of consent that all players should be following.

Stop now.

Those people that you trigger now have to go deal with the emotions of that trigger while you get to go home and laugh.

AlphaRomeo​(switch male) • Jun 3, 2020

Just like everyone else I would suggest talking to him about it. He may not realize it's bothering you.

I know I myself as a dom tend to feel like it's my responsibility to defend my subs honor. I don't like it when other people humiliate or mock my sub as it feels like an insult against me as well. And I would want to know if someone was bothering my sub as well, so if you tell him that it is specifically bothering you he may turn around.