Little Doms...?

Little Doms...?

SkyV​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2020

Are there? I imagine they are/would be extremely niche and unpopular.

Actually, I guess "HNG/insta-doms" are littles. And, while they are extremely unpopular in the BDSM community, they are also pervasive.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Jun 7, 2020

I think equating littles with insta-doms is both rude and untrue. While I’m not a little, I respect their place in the community and they are valid.

DiscoveringMe​(sub female){Cocooned} • Jun 7, 2020

I am a little and my Daddy is a Daddy Dom. I am both a little and a middle therefore Daddy has to be able to either redirect or discipline. Structure and punishments very much exist in my life. Yes Daddy does require lots of cuddles, hugs, nurturing and love but I don't think that makes him a Little either.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2020

Referring to insta-doms and ubber Doms as 'little is just as bad as calling g a black person by the 'N' word

SkyV​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2020

Nor do I. More of a Lover & Father figure.

To those who raised objections, I am a novice who equates "little" with immaturity. And I don't think anyone would argue that most HNG/I-Ds are particularly mature specimens. Obviously, my mistake. I did not intend to cause offense. But I also do not apologize.

Re: Little Doms...?

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 7, 2020

There's absolutely no snark in my tone here.
You seem to be assuming the identity of "HNG/I-D?" (or are you just being funny or self effacing?). In the event you are serious (i cannot tell one way or the other), "HNG" or "insta-dom" are derogatory terms, not community stages of development. One is or is not Dom or sub, one chooses to be "HNG" or and "insta-dom." It's kinda like being an asshole. We all have the potential to be one, but it is a choice to either be one or not at any given point, it doesn't have to be a perpetual state of being.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Jun 7, 2020

As a novice you shouldn’t speak of things you don’t know about. Do some research and ask polite questions not make incorrect broad assumptions and insult a whole group of people.

So if you are a novice doing these things, then it’s ok for me to call YOU an Insta-Dom?
Humility is a good trait tj gave, especially for one who claims to be more of a “lover and father figure”. So you insult the very type of submissive you hope to attract? Not ok... Little’s regress in age, they are not immature people.

Since I am not a novice
(Nearly 20 years in the lifestyle both as an owned slave and I am a Dominant with a collared submissive, so a switch) .. I will give you some advice, but given your behavior I doubt it will hit home. There is nothing wrong with humility amd admitting you’re wrong. As a novice you will make mistakes, lots of them amd if you are fortunate enough to find a submissive. Which frankly I hope doesn’t happen until you get off your high horse and learn. Sometimes a Dom is wrong. We are not infallible. Those of us that live this, know it’s not a fantasy. If you want all through life thinking you’re always right, you will be proven wrong time and time again.

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2020

My girl identifies as a babygirl. She is a strong capable woman that runs her own business and does so quite well. She does what she does so well in fact that she has reached a point that she does not need to go out seeking clients they seek her out.

That being said as her Daddy I have created a place for her that she feels safe and thus allows herself to be openly vulnerable to allow her babygirl side out. That is something that took much time, communication, and trust for her to feel safe enough to let her walls down.

I take great joy when she is all giggly, wants to cuddle, and hug. Also it took a lot of patience of my part to make that safe haven for her.
I nurture her both in and out of her babygirl space.
There are times we both have fun and laugh and then the times I know I have to be strict with her. She has set rules and we both have boundaries.

You say that you are new to all this and that is fine, we were all new at one time or another.
When I first came into the lifestyle it was way before there were any smartphones or internet and resources about the lifestyle were hard to come by.

Ask for resources, there are a great deal of people on this site which can point you to podcasts, YouTube channels, books, and even workshops that offer all kinds of insight into all the different aspects of this wonderful world.

Everyone does BDSM differently, there is no one right way to do it as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual.
Harm no one and have fun doing it.

Re: Little Doms...?

SkyV​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2020

I definitely have a twisted sense of humor - hardly any sense of it at all, in fact - but, no. Not trying to be funny. I'll go with the "self effacing" option. Referring to myself as an "I-D" is my idea of 'fair warning'.

@ djinni:
Could you please do me the favor of describing to me some of the mature things that Littles might do when they are regressed?

I was not claiming to be such. I agreed with DiscoveringMe and stated my personal opinion regarding the nature of her DD, based on her own description.

I thought I admitted I was wrong and simply chose not to formally apologize? I am quite poor at expressing myself, as you can see.

Personally, having come from a Christian background, I think domination itself is wrong. Therefore, a Dominant is always wrong. But as I have chosen not to practice Christianity, I can hold the opinion that a Dom is always right as long as his Sub (thinks she) is alright. Not whether or not the BDSM community - in whole or part - feels that he is or she isn't.

@ John Brownstone: Thank you! I feel much better because you were positive toward me.

Perhaps you could answer the question I put to djinni, instead? Pretty please?

John Brownstone​(dom male) • Jun 7, 2020

First let me start out by saying that I agree with Djinni in that as big D's we are not infallible. I have made my share of mistakes and because I'm human I'm sure I will make mistakes in the future. Just because I have the title of Dom/Daddy does not exempt me from mistakes.
What I do though is own those mistakes when I make them. I admit I am wrong, apologize, and then moving forward using that mistake as a learning moment as a way to NOT make the same mistake twice. It is often talked about how under a Dom the sub should grow. A Dom should also be learning and growing.

Now I am going to say something here: as the big D in my relationship everything I say is not law! Shocking I know. My style of Dominance is as I see it is likened to being a good leader, not controlling or dominating. Before I make a decision I talk with my girl, listen to her thoughts and insight on the subject....then and only then when I have all the information at hand...then I make a decision. One based on all the facts and information I can gather.
There are subjects she knows way more then I do about the topic so I will go to her for ideas and insight and often in those cases her ideas and thoughts are sounder based then mine. As the Dom/Leader I work with her strengths not just on the assumption that because I am the big D everything I say is law.

Now as for your question to Djinni I'm not quite sure I understand it fully but I will answer it as best I can based on my understanding of the question.

When my girl steps into her babygirl space it is because she has reached a point where she is done "adulting" as the term so many use. She wants to step away from her work world where she is in charge and does not want to be the boss anymore. She steps into her role as babygirl and hands responsibility off to me. She knows I will not let anything hurt her(to the best of my abilities) and as I have often been known to say "I don't want to break my toys as then you can't play with them anymore." Also just to clarify our D/s dynamic does not extend into her work life, when she is working that is her domain and hers only. So for her when she steps into her babygirl space she puts the mature things behind her, no more decision making, no more work, etc. That is her space to have fun and enjoy.