informal Poll

informal Poll

JD Dom​(dom male) • Jun 9, 2020

If you have taken the time to write a small greeting to someone, offering to start a conversation, and they aren't interested in you, would you prefer a polite "No, thank you. I'm not interested."? Or would you prefer them to just delete your offer and not reply at all?

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 9, 2020

Better to know theres ni interest than to get no reply

LuceeLu • Jun 9, 2020

I try to politely decline every time.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 9, 2020

This is not a simple question for me.
It depends.
For a long time, i'd respond to everyone, trying to put something of substance into any response i would make. But i confess i have been affected and somewhat molded by my experiences. For instance, i have encountered so many scammers. Dealing with them , figuring out who's real and who isn't can really deplete energy. Another common contact is the really short "greeting" that has no content, like "hi" or "I'm interested", but nothing else, which unfortunately is a way a lot of scammers canvas or also people who want you to carry the weight of the conversation.
It feels rotten to me to return a comment like "why" or "okay," though i usually do at least respond in kind, i feel guilty if i don't respond at all to someone who i think may be real, but it can be hard to know. i always go immediately to the senders profile and it there is nothing of them in it, copy and pasted stuff or three word sentences, i again feel like 'conversation' will be me pulling teeth.
Lately, i need to have a sense that they are real and/or demonstrate some substance by either their profile or greeting.

mab{His} • Jun 9, 2020

Hey JD, I hope you are doing well.

This is an interesting one for me, I get and still do get alot of 'odd' messages from people who are clearly after one thing. Its worth keeping in mind, so do many other subs. I have also received some great opening messages from people who turned out to be instadoms and the like.

So it can be difficult to guage where to pitch a reply, and harder still to know how they will be received. But personally, a polite and clear, 'thank you but no thank you' should do it, right? (sometimes you get the persistent ones- but most will get it soon enough).

Ive also tried to be proactive and send out messages to any anyone whos blogs, forums, profiles seem interesting. Maybe the experience is different for a sub when she messages a dom, but of the bunch that are not interested- most have been gracious enough to say so and will also add a 'let me know if you want any help with anything' which is lovely.

Whatever the circumstance, I strongly believe is at least a simple reply to state your position should be the very least someone can do. So count me in the "No, thank you. I'm not interested." camp.

heartbrokengirl​(sub female) • Jun 9, 2020

Hmmm interesting topic.
I may have to consult my Daddy on this. We have a rule no talking to ANY dom in a private message. So I couldn't respond back to the message unless I informed him first. We talk about everything so that's not an issue he knows about all my adventures on here public and private.
But maybe it is worth considering asking if a standard reply is ok in these instances. Such as
"Sorry as listed in my profile I'm taken already" or something to that effect.
Usually I just delete them seeing how it specifically says in my profile not interested.

DrWakko • Jun 9, 2020

There are some females that responding to unwanted emails is a full time job. I take not receiving an email the same as getting one that says “not interested”.

I realize that I am not entitled to receive a “not interested” email. I realize that there are females who on a daily basis get harassing emails. I have seen and heard about some of the emails guys send out.

Females in general can go the way of the Domme and leave sites like this because they are constantly being harassed. You (general you) should be thankful for all the bullshit women have to put up with on a daily basis. You should be thankful anytime a female reads your email. You should be even more thankful they take the time to respond.

If you want to “fix” this issue of females not responding. I believe you are not looking at the problem correctly. The problem is the harassing emails from males. If males stop harassing women online, maybe women will take the time to say not interested.

DW

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jun 9, 2020

It depends on the email.

If thought was put into the email (and I'm not talking about an ad that is the size of a novel) but if it reads like that person reached out to YOU and isn't "canned", then it's polite to send a "not interested" with the SAME AMOUNT of effort and kindness that person put into their email.

But if the person reads like a want ad, or an idiot.....

Delete...(or, because I'm a brat and they are an insta-dom, an insult).

Most of the time, I don't even bother with blocking.

Miinuh​(sub female) • Jun 9, 2020

In my short time here, I try to respond to as many messages I can and if I'm not interested I'll let them know.

However, I don't really feel obligated to respond to anyone as it should be. Nobody is obligated to respond back. Yes you reached out to the person but if they don't respond then they don't respond.

I agree with everyone that if they put a thoughtful message then I'll check out their profile and see if they are compatible as a friend or otherwise depending on the message. And if not I'll reply respectfully no. Otherwise there isnt much to really gauge off of a profile and a short greeting.

Also, if I reply and don't get a continued message then they made themselves clear that they weren't interested and that they were spamming. Or just don't care to reply back. Effort goes both ways.

Hope this helps!

**updated: personally though it also depends on the message as well. If it's sloppy, short, precise and just plain annoying then no I don't care to respond. That shows me they don't put effort into anything. Likewise for responses from these individuals as well. No effort = no interest.

Fallible Malleable • Jun 9, 2020

I would hope that if you took the time to write someone that they would have the decency to write back and advise, “No, I’m not interested thank you” OR yes, and engage in further in depth conversation, that way there is no ambiguity. I do think this might be one instance where it might be safe to assume that if you received no response after a good period of time that the other party has no interest.
When I first joined the cage I got a good number of messages from Doms seeking a submissive, which to me was odd as I had listed that I was married and in a monogamous relationship. I also hadn’t listed myself as a submissive. I suppose the word female was the attraction? Ah, the gift of sometimes being naïve as to how things work. I was fortunate in that most of the people were VERY polite and kind. This site really does have a good group of people. We may have exchanged a few words and then each gone on our way. I DID respond to each of them as I personally felt that if they had taken the time to write me I wanted let them know that I had indeed received their message and that I couldn’t be and wasn’t what they were seeking.