ADVICE ?

ADVICE 😩

XiaoTian​(sub female) • Jun 13, 2020

Hi Everyone!

I hope you’ve all had a good week.

I had an online Dom for a bit. We had playtime through the phone/Skype. Eventually, it fizzled. That’s fine, but what ISN’T fine is I am currently unable to orgasm. I can enjoy myself, get close, but then, NOTHING. I don’t know if it’s because I no longer “have permission” or what. What I do know is it’s extremely frustrating to say the least. Have any other subs ever experienced something similar? Does anyone have any advice? Me and my body would appreciate your insight!

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 13, 2020

Based on what I know of such things it may depend on conditions of before and present. Like if there was anything specific you had done before the online Dom and you were able to orgasm as compared to what was done while having the online Dom as also compared to what's presently happening. Its possible your mind has gotten used to being commanded to do so or that your body has gotten used to other variables that arent presently there. As such it's possible to replicate such variables on your own

curious butterfly​(masochist female) • Jun 13, 2020

First of all, its not uncommon!
You are normal.

Second, its multifactorial...

I cannot cum when I played online. Its just not me. There are woman who can.

Your ability to orgasm is heavily impacted on your mental state. If you have things bothering you, or changes in your usual routines etc etc. It could be simple or complex. Take a moment to consider the physiological process for orgasm in women... hormones released.... intense relaxation.... more hormones.... intense muscles contractions..... homrones... and food.


You need all parts of your you to allow it to work.

One of the things I found, and this is my opinion, in online play, the main focus is getting "each other off" vis orgasm. The focus, isnt really on the foreplay, the sensual intimacy. Its based on imagination. That doesn't mean its not fun. It just means it take different biochemical routes to get you both there.


The more you think about it, the more it becomes a thing. I would honestly suggest, taking time for some self exploration. You get used to the same actions and motions during solo play. So take time to touch yourself in different ways, in the shower, while watching TV, lying down. See what feels different and nice. Just enjoy your body. Without the orgasm sometimes.

Reconnect with yourself.

It wont change overnight. But it will come back. The more your give attention to it (like naughty child getting attention for bad behaviour), the worse it will get.


Hope this helps. Feel free to inbox me if you wanna talk more openly etc.

Bunnie • Jun 13, 2020

I have experienced this, yes. I was being trained to cum on command, so can relate to your struggle and frustration. In all honesty, I couldn’t overcome it myself. After what began to seem like a ridiculous amount of time and many discussions, a friend whom I trusted a lot and had known for a long time, offered to “give me permission.” It worked and seemed to break the “spell.”
I hope you find some reprieve somehow, as I understand how much this messes with one’s head. *big hugs*

XiaoTian​(sub female) • Jun 14, 2020

Thank you everyone!