Anal

armchairfreud​(dom male) • Aug 17, 2020

If you're curious you can certainly pull it off. There's tons of great advice above. But they missed 2 important points- 1:discomfort is caused by abrasion- so trimmed nails or gloves, tons of lube, no violent in and out until you learn how to open, sounds like you were scratched if it still hurts...which brings point #2: the anal sphincter is normally closed, you have to learn how to push it open, which fortunately you've already been doing all of your life. Its the motion you use to void when you go to the bathroom. That pushing sends signals that cause you to open up to pass waste. Pushing in that same way will allow penetration without pain. Most newbies are paranoid about making a mess so I'd advise a quick shallow enema to rinse out before anal play. Good luck!

armchairfreud​(dom male) • Aug 17, 2020

If you're curious you can certainly pull it off. There's tons of great advice above. But they missed 2 important points- 1:discomfort is caused by abrasion- so trimmed nails or gloves, tons of lube, no violent in and out until you learn how to open, sounds like you were scratched if it still hurts...which brings point #2: the anal sphincter is normally closed, you have to learn how to push it open, which fortunately you've already been doing all of your life. Its the motion you use to void when you go to the bathroom. That pushing sends signals that cause you to open up to pass waste. Pushing in that same way will allow penetration without pain. Most newbies are paranoid about making a mess so I'd advise a quick shallow enema to rinse out before anal play. Good luck!

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) • Aug 17, 2020

Not to step too hard on someone good enough to provide advice, but untrained ass plus anything anesthetic is a risky proposition. Pain exists for a reason, it is a way of your body warning you damage may be occurring. If your body is properly prepared pain can be manageable or even hella amazing and more importantly, safe. If the activity is something you really want to do it's definitely possible to work into it in a way that won't potentially tear one's rectum. Yes, it can and does happen.

There are experienced people that successfully use, and perhaps may even enjoy the cooling/ anesthetic topicals, but the way I see it is this...would it be SSC or hell even RACK, to slather a BDSM newbie with anesthetic, truss em up, and whip them bloody with a singletail just because they won't feel the pain...until after the scene? Good lord, I hope most of us would say no. Same same with short circuiting the work required to help someone become comfortable with anal play by just covering the pain with an analgesic.

- Henna's two cents

DrKrall • Aug 18, 2020

Is this the anal sex equivalence to the widespread "rule" saying a Master must allways try all impact toys on himself before using them on a sub?
While my ex was a masochist and loved pain and being whipped, I really hate it. In the same way I love anal sex on a girl, but hate it done on me and I'm pretty sure the same goes for figging even if I haven't tried it. I get your intention but I think the thought is a logic fallacity.

What matters is OP's feelings about it (unless she is a no limit slave in a TPE relationship) and to what extent her Dom takes her feelings and pain into consideration.
She doesn't have to like, or do anal unless she want's to. If he insists I see two alternatives: 1. Let him have his way, or 2. Leave him.