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4 years ago •
Aug 11, 2020
How am I supposed to behave during sex? What do you like in
4 years ago •
Aug 11, 2020
DesertLizard(sub female) • Aug 11, 2020
So I am new to all of this and one thing I started wondering: what's hot/sexy/desirable in a sub? I am wondering specifically about the sexual context here, as I am only sexually submissive. I am used to a vanilla dynamic in the bedroom; I have never been able to fully live out my submissive desires. I have a strong desire to be more passive during sex, letting the other person lead and take complete control (note, passive here does not mean unenthusiastic). But no guy I have been with wanted me to be like that, and so I have fallen into the habit of taking initiative, being active, making decisions. I guess at this point I am sort of confused what it would even look like for me to be more passive while still acting in a way that's sexy. Because many of the men I have been with specifically found it hot when I did the action, when I just decided that now it's time for a blowjob, or I assertively requested a certain sex position, or the like. So I guess a lot of the ways in which I know how to be sexy are tied to a more dominant role in the bedroom, a role that I do not actually want. Then again, I suppose there are some things that vanilla guys find hot that probably carry over to a BDSM context. I assume, e.g., that pretty much all guys find it hot when a woman keeps eye contact during oral sex? But what else turns you on in a sub, things that are perhaps not on my radar? Are there any specific things your sub does that you just love? Of course, there are going to be differences in preference. For example, I understand that "brat-tamers" are okay with back-talk and sass but other Doms not so much, right? In any event, I would love to hear your about your preferences and what you expect from your sub in the bedroom. And, of course, if you are a sub and have advice for me, please go ahead. All comments welcome.
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