new Dom resources
2 years ago • Sep 17, 2020
notcg(dom male) • Sep 17, 2020
Ok. I have always had an attraction to parts of bdsm....but I felt like I wasn't the right "fit" because in my mind, I saw bad movies and porn where being a Dom seemed about abuse almost. That's not me. Recently with some changes in my relationship....I've started looking into things more...and maybe I am not as bad a fit as I thought.
So...I lack some basic terminology, so if I am ignorant...help me out and don't judge too much. Haha.
I care about women that I am with...and their satisfaction incredibly. I always have. For this alone I felt I couldn't be a Dom. Any time I am a little rougher or do any kind of what I would call light bondage....I'm always careful to make sure that this is exciting and fun. Scared to cross any line. I want to make sure who I am with feels safe. Almost as if I have to drop 'out of character to make sure that who I am with is OK. noone I have been with has ever been a true sub. (Experienced sub maybe a better word choice) So maybe that doesn't make me a bad Dom is what I am learning. I'm finding out that caring about her safety and pleasure as a priority is part of being a Dom....not a failure of being one.
Currently I am seeing a woman that wants me to take control and wants to be 'told what to do.' says she thinks of herself as a sub...but again...she's never had a Dom. She had one guy she was with that 'told me what to do' and that really excited her a lot...but She can't tell me what that means really (it's not a lack of trust and communication...she doesn't verbalize a lot of things. ) ...and I've not ever been really verbal that way.
Who do you guys trust....book, website, videos, etc to learn how to be more verbal and to find ways to keep developing my kinky side?