Writing about bdsm when you are inexperienced

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Oct 1, 2020

"This is the analogy I'd use: can a person who's never done Chemistry write a serious book about Chemistry? No."

Can someone who has never held public office become the President? Of course.

It would be a disaster, but hey ...

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Oct 1, 2020

Everyone is so negative here. Why don't we just share our expereinces with her.

A few things you should know:

1) Real subs use tiger balm as lube
2) Real Doms never punish their subs
3) Everything you read on the internet is Real

Others, please help her out.

Bunnie • Oct 2, 2020

Perhaps it would be an option to study writing. Yes... you need lifestyle experience to write about it, of course. However, being taught how to write, from what I’ve gathered, teaches you the ways you need to go about writing about the subjects you choose. For example... research would definitely be a huge aspect, however, not the only one. I would suggest backing up a bit, and beginning from before one would land on “go.”

Bunnie • Oct 2, 2020

@ Thinker,

You forgot to mention number 4) cynicism and snarkiness makes someone more genuine.

The Thinker​(sadist male){NotLooking} • Oct 2, 2020

Nah, that's just mean, like me.

ellefire​(sub female) • Oct 2, 2020

And you forgot #5) Doms are all big meanies, with absolutely no sense of humor; they just walk around growling all the time

ONLINE TRAINING DOM​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2020

Ok, you totally misunderstood her.
I've been talking with her.
I know a little bit more about her situation.
She needs this as an outlet.
She wants to get her fantasies out and write what she feels.
She is not going to write a training manual about BDSM.
It's just fantasies, what the fuck is misleading about fantasies?
Since when the "erotic romance novel" genre is accurate?
And if some of you think that the "50 Shades of Gray" is an accurate description about the true BDSM lifestyle, you are very wrong.
I have posted stories and encourage submissive women to express themselves.
She was trying to get advice and ideas and you all put her down!
She wants to learn about the lifestyle. Most of you do not understand her situation, yet you are quick to jump in with the negative comments.
Shame of you all!

MariGold • Oct 2, 2020

Chimera is soo right, we don't need another 50 shades...

Have you written before? Might be easier to start off with writing what you know about first!

Thinker, and you say you are not intellectual? Please

shahh • Oct 2, 2020

There is a big difference between asking for advice or input when you're trying to suss out your own fantasies and desires, and asking for people to describe their experiences so you can add it to a story you want to write...and I can only assume...want to profit from in some way. By all means write all the fantasies you have and go hard (pun intended although not always applicable LOL)... But the question was posed in a way that suggested others' stories were going to be used and not her own. We all know how offensive 50 Shades of Garbage was to anyone actually involved in the lifestyle, perhaps we're all trying to help her avoid that exploitation of a lifestyle and REAL people in it? To get advice or clarity about your own fantasies, it seems pertinent to reveal something of them and ask specific questions, not just a generalized...tell me all the things so I can write a novel. I apologize if this is too blunt...but that's how I roll around the spectrum.

PawPawGirl​(sub female){Azzabackam} • Oct 2, 2020

This is your erotic novel. What has your experience been so far? Your protagonist could be just as inexperienced as you are... With the same questions. There is a wide variety of kinks and fetishes as well as varying levels of implementation.

Let your creative juices flow and see where it takes you. There will always be critiques. It's just part of the writing game.

Good luck