Pushing bounderies

Pushing bounderies

SAXMANIAC​(sub female) • Oct 3, 2020

I was reading another forum post that mentioned pushing boundaries.

There was an activity that I once thought was a hard NO for me. But over time I have now wanted to explore it. That wasn't because my Dom wanted it or even suggested it. It came about as I grew closer with him. I've come to the point where I trust him implicitly. Now things that were once off limits are now distinct possibilities. I want to try just about everything now even though I may not be ready to be hog tied and gagged.....yet.

Seeing as my Dom and I are relatively new to this lifestyle I was wondering, should he be the one to introduce new things that he wants to try? I believe his way of getting what HE wants is to get me to trust him more...which is fine by me. It allows me to come to the edge of my boundaries on my own without feeling manipulated. But just how dominate should a Dominate be? If it's something that he wants should he insist on it? When I told my Dom what my hard limits were we never spoke of them again.

I know D/s relationships come in all shades, but I was wondering what other people thought about who should be pushing boundaries in the relationship.

kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Oct 3, 2020

Insist? Never.
Discuss? Always.
A Dominant will bring a submissive to different levels of " the edge."
Expanding horizons for the submissive.
When there is a long term relationship, both understand one another so well that their
" dance" will flow effortlessly and flawlessly.

What you need to do is have a conversation with him.
Speak about what you are feeling.
Explain your thoughts about trying something new.
We all have limits - which will change dependant upon a myriad of factors.

Your discussion with your Dominant will only deepen and enrich the bond.

The relationship between a Dominant and submissive is based upon honesty, trust, alignment and conversation.
Everything else builds upon that foundation.

MariGold • Oct 3, 2020

I think boundaries and limits can change, just as likes and dislikes do. Clear communication is everything, especially in this lifestyle. I agree with kajirasubm, never insist, always discuss.

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Oct 3, 2020

It’s an interesting thought that a boundary can become a limit and vice versa
But neither should happen until an open and frank discussion has taken place !!
It’s a total destruction of trust if you are forced to Red out or use your safe word to stop something occurring!!!
A good Dom will never take anything you don’t give freely !!!