Am I the Only Dom to have lost love?

Am I the Only Dom to have lost love?

DomF​(dom male) • Nov 6, 2020

I have asked for Doms to reply in the past for advise on break up.. So I will ask the first question...Have you loved your sub?
Again, not a premium member...look up previous posts for insight

TheWhorelock​(dom male) • Nov 6, 2020

Absolutely.

Sasa​(dom female) • Nov 6, 2020

How could I not love those I'm with? A bond without feelings doesn't work for me. Trust and bond are not one-sided or limited to one side of the slash. The depth of the feeling is not constant, it flows. We don't love the same way every day - it is natural, but we are mature enough to know that. Love has nothing to do with being in love or having a crush, for me it has to do with decisions. The decision to see the partner fully, to accept the whole person (or not) If we only fell in love with parts, we would not only miss a lot. We don't see them as what they are, but simply a mirror of what we think they should be. That does not work and yes, it is not a one way street.

DomF​(dom male) • Nov 6, 2020

Sasa, thank you for the insight..loss is universal but the real void left behind is what I am exploring in a kink aware forum. Getting feed back and staying grounded is my hope on this site.

Sasa​(dom female) • Nov 6, 2020

I'm sorry I didn't read the headline - should be thick enough - both yes, abolutely. I think it is not that bad that we don't have the privilege to be the only ones. It doesn't make your loss easier, but yes, you are not alone.

Cowboy Master

Milacek • Nov 6, 2020

I to have lost my sub of 12 years not to a breakup but to death. He was very good to and for me. I am currently looking for another . Finding it hard to find. Hope you find what you need.

Balthezor • Nov 7, 2020

Absolutely not. I did, do, & will always love her, however, the more I find out about this world the more I know is that I know nothing. The connection without honestly, well I’m still at a loss. Finding out you were with someone who’s collard to another before I even realized the gravity of that. It’s steps back, but the love is still there. Part of being human and not perfect.

masterofsluts • Nov 7, 2020

i lost my sub last month

Genfairplay​(dom male) • Nov 7, 2020

I lost my sub and fiance of 6 years to her secret keeping, my misplaced trust and her cheating on me then vanishing in the night.

Only through mutual friends did I learn what happened.

The loss is great, the hole in my heart left was vast. It isn't easy to move on nor should it be if you truely loved them.

Everyone copes differently.

It took me a while before I was ready to look for someone else myself, thought i could never love anyone else.

I realized though after alot of thought and healing that we had been growing apart for some time and she most likely didn't say anything due to the inconvenience of having to move and split funds etc.

If she had talked to me I would have heard her out, stayed roomates if she needed etc. But her secrets became too thick to admit with the cheating etc.

I realize now that i have healed quite a bit that to let the hole in my heart be filled i need to make friends with other potential partners. If it becomes more than friends great!

If not my heart will at least understand that it IS in fact possible that there are other "fish in the sea" that can fit into this hole. Maybe even fit better.

Hang in there and get by however you can for now. Doms aren't rocks, we have emotions and feelings too. I hope you find a sub patient and understanding enough to realize that moving forward.

You are not alone.

DomF​(dom male) • Nov 7, 2020

Forgiveness has been my hurdle. Accepting my faults in the dynamic is harder than simply labeling the other partner as a " fill in the appropriate slander" and placing all blame on them. That is the part of forgiving that takes you to a place of healing.
Thank you for the replys. Filling the void is worth the time it takes to do it
mindful with healing as the goal. Hearing others experience has helped.